Motivation
by Zbean22
Summary: Bella has been overweight her entire life. She has no motivation to do anything about it until she meets Edward. Just moved two apartments down from her and changes her life.
1. Ch 1 Motivation

**I'm new at this writing thing, so bear with me please. I dont own twilight, the wonderful SM does. **

Hi, my name is Isabella Marie Swan. I go by Bella, or Swan depending on whose talking to me. I'm 27 years old, single like really really single. I work in a coffee shop as a general manager but I long to be a writer. I didn't realize I wanted to be a writer until I graduated a very expensive trade school and worked in so called field for two years. Waste of $36,000 dollars is you ask me. I live alone in a small apartment complex, you know the apartment complex in Melrose place. Like that except I am surrounded by old people that smell of ben gay and moth balls. Here is my life in a nut shell.

I've been over weight my whole life, well as soon as I was in the second grade I was a normal happy skinny kid. Then that summer it all changed I got fat. I have lived with it my whole life, nothing new to me. I don't know why I am fat, I have had an ok life. Nothing too traumatizing. Then again someone always has something from their child hood that has screwed them up. I can name so many excuses as to why still at 27 I am overweight. This is the only thing I know, I'm lazy, I like food, I don't care about myself, but when it comes down to it I just have no motivation. Well this year I am wishing I get some motivation.

I don't date, I don't even know how to flirt. I have never had a boyfriend. I have been too busy with my school and work. I live vicariously thru my friend's love lives. I have had sex, I'm not that much of a recluse. It was only a few times with a guy that I really didn't care for. It wasn't all its cracked up to be. I was never the type of girl that was like I am going to wait until I get married. screw that, I knew early on that probably wasn't in the picture for me. Even though I dream about getting married one day for some reason I just don't see it happening. Any ways so I was with this guy maybe a total of 3 times. I don't think he really knew what he was doing, but neither did I for that matter. I also have a lot of trust issues, I'm afraid every little thing I do will embarrass me, therefore I don't do anything when it comes to men.

So I see myself becoming that old cat lady, just like the one two apartments down from me. She has like ten million cats. Some have even migrated to my place. I'm too much like my mother, I see an animal and I want it. I feed them or give them milk and they just keep coming back and crapping on my porch and eating all my tuna because I don't think to pick up cat food at the grocery store. My friends, I think they pity me sometimes but when I come out on my porch to read a book and a silly cat jumps on my lap and sits with me its just I don't know, peaceful. I think that is the only time I am truly content.

I grew up with two parents. They didn't really like each other. My mom drank her sorrows away and my dad was a mean man and a cop to boot. Mean and cop just go together don't they? When I was 9 years old my mother moved out. She wanted me to go with her but because my friends and school were where my dad was. I stayed with him. That and I didn't really know what to do, I just wanted to crawl into the corner and never come out. My mom lived a life I didn't even know about. I didn't see her often but I talked to her everyday on the phone, it wasn't until I was 15 that I hung out with her every Saturday. We went over to her friends shop and helped out, and then my mom and her friend would get plastered after the shop closed. I think I was her excuse to go out every Saturday so she could get drunk. Her new boyfriend didn't like her drinking, so I was her scapegoat. I love my mother don't get me wrong, people make mistakes. She has traits that a lot of people don't agree with but I learn from her bad traits and refuse to do the same things she did. Well my dad he's another story, he means well I know he does, and I know he loves me with all his heart but that didn't stop him from being a nasty fuck when he wanted to be. I moved out when I was 18 and have been on my own ever since. I am still in contact with my parents but just don't hang out with them except for holidays and the few Saturdays here and there. They live in Seattle, I live in Forks. A good 3 hours away.

So after I went to school,I went straight into work. I work on average 6 days a week, about 60-70 hrs a week. That doesn't leave me much time to have a social life. I have two close friends, have been friends with them since high school. Both I see on a regular basis. Alice is an elementary school teacher, she is eccentric to say the least. She is very opinionated and if you don't agree with her she will fight with you until you agree. She is fun to be around, Alice gets me out of the house. She is really into astrological signs, just tell her what your sign is and she will give you a run down on the things you like, how you act, what your compatible sign is and so forth. My second friend is Rose, Rosalie. Beautiful name isn't it? Yeah well she's stunning, every time we go out the men just gravitate towards her. Forget I am sitting right next to her, its like no one else exists except for Rose. She doesn't let it get to her head, she's extremely smart as well, she stays at home no job per say. Rose does do a lot of charity work and by charity I mean me. Her and Emmett are trying to procreate, haven't had much luck but I think this will be a good year for them. Rose was meant to be a mother. Both of them have met their soul mates, please soul mates! Who believes that shit any more? I do have to admit Jasper and Emmett do seem like they were made for Alice and Rose. I think I got jipped in that department; no one out there was "made" for me.

It was another long day at work, crappy guests that come in thinking their shit doesn't stink and that my staff and I don't know what we are doing with our lives there fore we serve them coffee. Whatever I just grin and bear it. I make a decent living, I can afford things that I want, I am debt free. So for right now I will stick with what I am doing. My writing can be my secret life that no one knows about, I can have a different pen name. They used to do that back in the day, hell I can pretend I am a man. No one will read my stuff so who cares? I finally left the shop, traffic was a bitch, the music on the radio station gets boring after a while so I couldn't wait to get home. I pulled up, parked, locked my car. Stopped by the gates at the community mailbox and picked up my mail. This is what I do day in and day out. Today was no different, or was it? Someone new was moving in, they had movers as well. Funny how old people accumulate so much money they can afford movers. Not me I'm afraid, I moved that shit in myself, well of course I had Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett to help but still. I wonder what kind of person was moving in, a sweet little grandmother or a horny old man that had nothing better to do then hit on me whenever I got my mail. As I was walking to my apartment just one spot down from the new person I happened to sneak a peak and what I saw I think I almost fainted right there, well I was knocked out cold but not from fainting I walked right into one of the cement columns. Did I happen to mention I don't have one ounce of grace in me? Yeah well I don't. I woke up to some nasty smelling shit and the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my entire life.

**Well if anyone is reading out there, leave me some love....good or bad thanks :) **


	2. Ch 2 Processed Goodness

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twilight but I dont, that is SM and thank you to SM for creating them!**

Gah, my head is killing me and what the hell is that smell? I opened my eyes and oh my this gorgeous man had his face right over mine. He had these stunning green eyes, from what I saw of his hair was standing out on each end, and wow his jaw line was just wow. i just wanted to grab his hair and tug on it. Yep I had to have hit my head really hard, now I am just imagining things or hot men for that matter.

"ma'am, ma'am are you ok? can you hear me??" _this gorgeous man was talking to me. He threw the nasty smelling stick away from me. thank you mr. that shit was rank. hmmm i must still be passed out? This must be a dream, yeah thats it a dream._

"Hey Tanya can you run in the kitchen and get me an ice pack for her head please?" W_hat? Who is Tanya? Oh joy here comes a tall, sexy blond. Even in jeans and a t-shirt she was hot. Hell she would make me change orientation!_

"here you go Edward, I swear you see anyone getting hurt and you just have to run to their rescue, she would have woken up eventually and been on her way" the blond goddess stated as she stood over us with a disinterested look on her face. _Yeah I'm awake and looking at you, do you have a filter on that mouth? No couth? My goodness. So I just lay there watching them and totally enjoying my view of this man who now has a name thanks to Ms. Tanya._

"Really Tanya, I'm a doctor its my nature. Plus she hit her head really hard, I couldn't just watch her run into that column and walk away_." ok I think its time to get up and leave before I die of embarrassment. I can just imagine what I look like to them. Sprawled out on the dirty ground with a huge nasty hematoma on my forehead and my three chins on display_.

Ok I'm just going to get up and say thanks and be on my way.

"Whoa, wait. You need to get up slowly. You really hit your head hard, not only in the front but the back of your head as well from you fall. How are you feeling?"

_Oh please let the words come out clearly and not a jumbled mess!! Please!!_ "um.....well aside from my splitting headache and being totally embarrassed I'm fine thanks" I said with a bit of hesitation_, thank you lord I didn't lose my voice with this beautiful man standing in front of me. Thank you Ms. Tanya for leaving because now I have a nice clear view of him._

He helped me up and we just stood there looking at each other. I'm sure my face was bright red, I was starring at him, he was beautiful. I have never seen a man look like him before, his lips were slightly parted and I just wanted to lay one on him. Wow I never have these kinds of thoughts before. It would be a thank you for saving my life kind of kiss. You can't go wrong with that, not awkward at all. Yeah right, haha. Of course I like men, but this was he was just beyond words at this point. He was in a dirty pair of jeans that hung low on his hips and a tight black t-shirt, it had print on it but I was too busy looking at his face to care what it said. I need to leave.

"Hi, I'm Edward. My girlfriend and I are just moving in. Apartment 2a." He held his hand out to mine.

I took it and it was like our hands just fit perfectly together. Ok yeah I think I hit my head harder then I thought. Now I am just thinking nonsense things!

"Hi, I'm Bella. Thanks for helping me out, I um...appreciate it. I guess I'll let you back to moving in. um..thanks again" and with that I turned around and walked as fast as I could without looking like I was running back to my apartment. That's all I need is to fall flat on my face again in front of him!

"Wait Bella!" shit he was following me, well we didn't have far to go I'm in 4a. Joy. I turned around from my front door and he was closer then I thought and I bumped right into his chest. What a chest it was. I could feel the hardness in his abs, I was in heaven.

"Oh sorry about that, haha." he looked nervous, he was running his hand through his beautiful tug worthy hair.

"I just wanted to let you know that you should take some advil for your head and keep icing it. If you know' you start throwing up and feel dizzy, forget things then please don't hesitate to come get me and I will take you to the hospital"

_Can I just come and get you for no reason at all?? What? Stop that Bella._

"And don't go to sleep right away, if you feel tired stay awake"

_I know the drill buddy, been there done that. _

"I'll be fine thank you for the concern, this isn't the first time I have fallen and hitten my head pretty hard haha" my laugh was awkward, I cant help it this man is making me so flustered.

"Ok, well really don't hesitate if you need anything I am just down…ha well you know where I am" Edward said with a panty dropping smile.

Yeah I am in love with this man. All he has to do is smile and I will do whatever he wants me to.

I smiled, mumbled thanks with a bright red face and ran into my apartment and slammed the door.

That was just surreal, did that really just happen to me. I met the man of my dreams and I run into a cement column? Yeah I totally pulled a Bella. Well he's out of my league, plus he has a drop dead gorgeous girlfriend so there is no need to put any thought into him. Plus with the way Ms. Tanya looks I'm sure he would never give pudgy old Bella a second look. I shook myself out of this realization and went about the rest of my night. I followed his instructions but really I have done this so many times I can do it in my sleep. I started to make myself some mac and cheese and canned tomato soup for dinner. Come on I just made a fool out of myself, met the man of my dreams and realized I will never have him. I am entitled to some processed goodness! My cell rang, I ran to grab it and tripped over the leg of the sofa and hit my head on the corner of the coffee table. Just great. I am never going to sleep tonight I keep hitting my head! Phones still ringing oh yeah gotta get that. I look at the caller id and its Rose. Yay.

"Hello"

"Hey Bella b, what are you up to this nice evening?" Rose was in a good mood tonight.

"Oh not much, I ran into a cement column and knocked myself out because I was oogling the newbie that just moved in. Made a total fool out of myself in front of him and his hot girlfriend. Oh and then I tripped and hit my head again answering your phone call. You know the usual. Whats up with you? To what do I owe this pleasure?" I said in one breath.

"Wow, that is typical Bella, I can't say I'm not surprised. I am interested in finding out more about your new hot neighbor and his hot girlfriend tho, but you can fill me in on that on Sunday"

"Why what's going on Sunday?" I asked totally confused.

"Well, Emmett wants to throw a bar-b-que, you know pre-game for the football season, wants to start it up right I guess oh and his long time childhood friend just moved back into town and wants him over to show me off" I could hear the big grin on her face from that last statement.

"Sooooooo.....you have to come, I need you and Alice there I cant listen to all these men talk football for hours. Plus you make that terrific spinach dip and I have been craving it forever!"

"Um..yeah ok, I'll be there, I need some girl time as well. Been too busy at the coffee shop lately. I'll make the dip and maybe a dessert as well."

"Yes and you will fill us in on your oops moment with the new hot neighbor! Be here at noon! Love you!" Click, yea she isn't going to let this one go, she is forever making fun of my gracefulness and now that I mentioned I did it in front of Edward she will never let me live it down!

I ate my food and sulked for the better part of the night. Have an early day at work tomorrow. I know I wont be able to sleep, my thoughts are going to be consumed with Edward.

**I love reviews, you make my day. Leave me some more please :) good and bad welcome. Hope you are enjoying it so far. Happy Valentines Day!**


	3. Ch 3 Black Coffee

**Sorry for the delay, everyone in my household seems to be sick! ****Just so you know I dont own anything Twilight, I wish but I don't. The wonderful SM does.**

BEEP..BEEP..BEEP…..

I don't want to wake up! I barely had any sleep and the sleep I did have was of Edward! His green eyes penetrating into my soul, his hands all over me, his rugged voice whispering words I couldn't even understand because I was so taken back by his beauty. Oh and it gets better his one hand was holding the back of my head as the other one was caressing my lower back, he was leaning in to kiss me and then…… I wake up. Can't even have him in my dreams how messed up is that!

It's 3 a.m., today is inventory day and I work in Port Angeles so it's a good hour away from where I live. I don't mind the drive most days but today is going to be torture! I got up and started my morning routine, I wasn't in the mood to put make up on or do my hair. I was going to be knee deep in counting coffee beans today so if I stay in the back no one will see what a disheveled mess I am. I'm heading out the door by 3:30 am, I love it when I come out and no one is awake yet, its nice and quite. Its still dark out, but there is a nice crisp chill in the air. Of course, I steal a glance over at Edward's apartment. The lights are out. Still asleep, boy am I glad he isn't out and about!

The drive to work isn't as bad as I thought; I blast my No Doubt, always a good start to the day! Plus it keeps me awake this early in the morning. I have an overnight baker, she's an annoying one, but she gets her work done in a timely fashion so I think I might keep her around a bit. Her name is Jessica Stanely, a few years younger then I am and attending the local college. She thinks we are best friends so she stays after work and chats my ear off, really its too early in the morning to hear about the gossip of college kids I don't see or ever want to hang out with. I think she has a major crush on Mike, my morning barista so that could be a reason for her late stays as well.

Finally I get to work and walk in and hear the music blasting, Jessica has to have the music blasting in order to cook, I'm the same way so it doesn't really bother me too much.

"GOOD MORNING BELLA!!!" Jessica screamed as I came in back door.

"Morning Jessica, how are you doing today?" I asked really not caring, I just wanted to get my day started by counting anything and everything in the back.

"A little tired, I am sooo busy with school its not even funny and I think I may need a vacation sooner then later, you know what I mean! Haha" even when she exaggerates her o's its annoying! I guess that's a hint that she will be asking for time off, not a problem with me our part time baker Laurant is much better company then her.

"Yes I defiantly know what you mean, look I have a lot to get started today so I'm going to head in back, let me know when you are finished" and with that I ran to the back.

Two hours have passed and I have managed to count the dry storage and now I am headed into the walk in, but I have to get up front and see how things are going out there. Ill just pop my head out, I'm not really dressed appropriately and my hair is falling out of its pony tail and I have my glasses on today, I hate wearing these glasses but after last night I didn't have the patience to put in contacts today.

Jessica is gone, thank goodness. I peak my head thru the window of the door and holy shit! Edward is in line, what is he doing here in Port Angeles? Man he looks good today, different pair of jeans, still hang off of his hips but they are clean and crisp. Looks like he irons his jeans, um ok. He also has on a button down dress shirt on with the sleeves rolled up a bit. Hair is all messed up but I like it that way, it looks sexy on him. As I am assessing him good ol' Mike turns around and sees me and waves me out. They have a huge line and I only have two people on today. Great, just great I look like crap and have to go and help him. My luck just keeps getting better and better!!! You can do this Bella, he's your neighbor you have to be nice and talk to him he did save your life yesterday. Well he didn't save it but he made it better right? Ok here goes nothing; I head out the door waking quickly with my head down to the bakery case.

"Can I help anyone that is ready to order?" I scan the line and he is towards the back, good maybe someone else will tend to him!

I work fast and get the line down while Mike is making drinks and Angela my newest employee is on register. Edward is the last person; he has a big smile on his face and is looking at me. Eh what do I say to him?

"Good morning Bella" Edward beat me to it.

"Ah good morning Edward, what brings you to Port Angeles so early this morning?" I mean we live in Forks and he just moved here, if I were him I would be home sleeping, but my nosy nature gets the best of me.

"Oh I am working for my dads family practice, its right down the street by the hospital. I just wanted to get in before I actually start and read over my patients records so I know them better, there's nothing worse then having a new doctor that knows nothing about you" he has that shy look on his face like he did yesterday, I wonder what that's about.

"Oh so you're a doctor? That's nice. What can I get you this morning?" I asked I would love and chat but I am just too taken back by him its hard to concentrate on anything else then wanting him!

"I'll just have a medium black coffee please" he said timidly. I quickly get it and almost throw it at him. That would be nice spill scalding hot coffee on the nice hot doctor. Just great. I smile and turn to Angela who is ringing him up.

"That's ok Angela, it's on the house. Actually Edward is a neighbor of mine so whenever he comes in just give him what he wants"

"You don't have to do that Bella" Edward stated.

"It's no problem at all, you practically saved my life yesterday it's the least I can do" I muster up the best smile I can even thou I am totally embarrassed right now.

"Well, that's very kind of you I appreciate it. I guess I'll see you at home, um yeah see you around the apartment complex I mean, " Edward said with an awkward laugh. I think I might melt right here and now. With that he turns and walks out.

Angela turns to me and I am just frozen in same spot starring as he walks out.

"Wow, you know that man? He was gorgeous! Can I come live with you just so I can see him around the apartment complex?" she starts laughing.

"Yeah I guess he is good looking if you like that sort of thing" I answered still starring at the door. Ok time to go snap out of it. I wonder if he'll come back in, if he does then I have something to look forward to. Its not like I wont see him at the apartments but he'll have Ms. Tanya with him, I like Edward without Ms. Tanya by his side. If Tanya is the kind of woman he likes then maybe just maybe I have my motivation to lose the weight!

**I know we shouldn't just lose weight for a guys attention but come on, who out there hasn't tried to do that before. Later in the story Im sure Bella will realize other reasons to lose the weight and not just for a guy. I hope you all enjoy the story so far and thanks for bearing with me. I'm really trying to work on this writting thing! Its fun to write and i will do my best! Ta-Ta for now! **


	4. Ch 4 Bella Meets Gym

**Who owns twilight? Not me, that would be SM. **

The week went by in a blur. Edward came in everyday, still shy and timid but constantly asked how my head was. Didn't give me too much personal information on himself but that's ok. I have a feeling the more I know about him the harder I will fall for him. I made sure I looked decent for work everyday just incase I might see him. He never got anything other then a medium black coffee so either; Mike, Angela or myself would have it ready for him when we saw him walk in. We did that with every regular we had, it seems to make their day when we remember them. At home I would purposely sit out on my porch and read so I could catch a glance of him coming in. He always looked so tired but never looked in my direction to my disappointment. I haven't seen Ms. Tanya either, that did not bother me one bit. I wonder what she did for a living. Probably a model or actress something to that effect.

I spoke with Rose and Alice a few times during the week. We had to plan the menu for Sunday and Alice filled me in on what a pain some of her students parents were. Rose hadn't mentioned my mishap with Edward the other day so I was grateful for that. Alice found an orange strawberry trifle that she wants to try out so I am relinquishing the dessert to her, so all I have to make is my famous spinach dip and bring some wine.

I haven't had time to write anything new, I usually write short stories but haven't had the time. I have been too busy researching what I am going to do to lose weight. I am finally determined to lose it! There are so many things I can do; I just don't know where to start. What foods to eat, what exercises to do. It's all so overwhelming. Who knew? I thought you just worked out and ate salad and stuff, but everything I read it is so much more then that. There are like ten million diets out there. There's the cookie diet, cabbage soup diet, you could always cleanse but I can't go with out food and just drink liquids please, I like my food! There are programs too! Weight watchers, Jenny Craig, nutrisystem. Where to begin? Well what I do know is I want to do this right. I don't want a quick fix because I am just going to gain all the weight back ten fold. I have been overweight for over 20 years. That's 20 years of binge eating, eating crap, and no exercising. Its time to grow up and start taking care of myself! I know I shouldn't make my motivation to lose weight to get a man's attention but it has opened my eyes for the first time in my life. I decided that I couldn't do this on my own. I need help, professional help. There is a gym right down the road from the coffee shop in Port Angeles, its open 24 hours. Not like I would use it all hours of the night seeing as I live so far away but I figure I can go before or after work. Friday I am going in to talk with director of the gym and see what they have to offer and if they can help me on my new endeavor.

Its Friday morning and work is crazy busy. Edward didn't come into today so that put me in a solemn mood. I was looking forward to seeing him. That's ok I think I will live. I had planned on after work to head to the gym.

Finally done with work. Got out later then I had wanted too due to busy lunchtime crowd. I pull into the gym and it's daunting. Do I really want to do this? Yes Bella you do! It's time to make a change in your life! I gather up the strength and head in. It's modern inside. The front desk is huge; I expected to see beautiful fit bodies walking around but its just normal people. I think I like it already.

There's a pretty brunette working at the front desk, her nametag says Heidi. Poor girl, who names their kid Heidi?

"Hello, welcome to fitness west gym, my name is Heidi how can I help you?" she said almost on autopilot.

"Hello, there. I am new to this gym thing and was wondering what you had to offer here. Is there like a person I could sit down and talk with? A tour I could take?"

"Of course there is, let me get Garrett for you. He's the head trainer; he can answer any questions you have. Please have a seat and I will get him for you" I felt like I was in an office building, she was so professional and formal sounding.

A few minutes later Heidi walks up with I presume to be Garrett. He's tall, scruffy looking but really built. His arms are like the size of my thighs and trust me when I say they are big! He takes me on a tour and tells me about what the gym has to offer. They have a butt load of classes you can take and a personal trainer program I am interested in. He leads me to my office and we sit and talk. He asks me what my goals and aspirations are, what I want to learn and get out of my gym experience. I was there for an hour. Garrett was really easy to talk to, I told him everything. How I have been over weight my whole life, having no motivation, no get go to get out there and just do it. He totally understood; he didn't put me down or anything. I really like him. Towards the end of the meeting he told me he wanted to be my trainer, he wanted to work with me slowly, getting my endurance built so we could move into more difficult things exercise wise. I totally agree with him. The gym also offers a nutritional program as well. They have dieticians on hand to help out patrons of the gym, they offer classes to take and even offer to help you plan menus for you to eat the right foods. I am so loving this place. I feel like this is going to be my home away from home. I am actually excited to start this new chapter in my life! The new and improved Bella!

"Well Bella, what do you think?" Garrett asked.

"To be honest, I am really excited! I wanted to get started as soon as possible" and with that Garrett printed out my gym contract and I signed on the dotted line. This time it didn't feel like I was signing my life away. It was like I going to get a new life.

"Ok so our first appointment will be on Monday at 3 p.m. come in work out clothes and sneakers, oh and don't forget your water. The first appointment won't be a cake walk Bella, so prepare yourself." Garrett said with power in his voice.

"Sounds good to me, thanks Garrett. I will see you Monday with bells on" I gulped out.

I left and drove home, I need to go home and digest everything that just happened.

So our Bella is getting her foot in the door, don't worry I haven't forgotten about the bar-b-que or Emmett's long time childhood friend. More Edward in the next chapter had to get Bella on her way before we delve more into Edward and the mystery into his shyness…….until next time ta-ta!


	5. Ch 5 BarBQue Part I

**I own a lot of clothes and shoes that dont fit me, but nothing Twilight related, that is the magnificent Stephenie Meyer!**

It is finally Sunday. Been one hell of a long week, after meeting Edward, making a fool out of myself and then joining a gym to change my life. I'd say it was pretty much an exhausting week. After I came home from the gym I took the night to digest everything and devise a plan. Saturday I took the day off from work, which for me never happens. I emptied out all the "bad" food, you know the food that tastes good and is full of "bad" things for you. I cleaned out the cabinets, cupboards and the fridge. I also cleaned out all my hiding spots. All my chocolate bars, salty chips, little debbies...gone! If I am going to do this I might as well do it right! I did some more research online and went to the grocery store. My house is now filled with healthy "good" food. I can do this, I can't exactly go cold turkey and deprive myself of chocolate and chips but everything in moderation right? Yes, right!

Now I am trying to figure out something to wear to this stupid bar-b-que. I don't even watch football, why would I want to pre-game pre-season?? Plus I am having a major fat day! Nothing fits right, nothing looks good on me, I hate when I have these days because then it puts me in the worst moods. My room is a complete mess; I have thrown the entire contents of my closet all over the place. Shirts are inside out, pants are hanging from the lamps shades, why cant anything fit right today....ahhhhhhh I just want to scream! I ended up just putting on a pair of jean capri's and a black baby doll type shirt. Empire wasted is that what they are? Its supposed to give me some kind of shape and black is so slimming. Who came up with that? It's not slimming when you get a side view of the person wearing it! It will have to do, plus it's comfortable. Comfort is key for me; I have no one there to impress. Not like I have outfits to impress people with. My wardrobe consists of jeans, khakis, and a lot of black shirts, barely any color. Alice always razzes on me for not wearing color. I would love to, don't get me wrong. I love every color under the rainbow but color just doesn't look good on me. Ok to complete the outfit I am wearing a pair of black ballerina flats. Alice gave them to me; they are a little big on her so she gave them to me. Well they are a little big on me but I don't really mind. I just have to remember to be extra careful while walking in them. Don't need to injure myself a day before my first gym workout now do we? Wait do we? No, no Bella no more excuses!

I arrive at Rose and Emmett's house about 20 minutes late, I forgot about the wine yesterday so I had to stop and get some. I figured a red would do, but I'm not a red fan so the only one I do like I grab. Lambrusco it is. The rest of them can suck it. I finally get there and everyone is there already. A car I really don't recognize, a silver Volvo is there so I assume its Emmett's long time friend. Who drives Volvos any more? Ok how am I going to get everything in there in one trip? I balance the spinach dip, which is in a big dish in one hand, the bag of chips in the other hand and the wine I am balancing between my arm and the side of my boob. My stupid purse keeps falling of my shoulder, ugh I am so getting rid of this damn thing its always falling off. I head in and as I'm trying to get the door open and I move to walk in my foot comes out of the shoe and I spill into the foyer chips and purse go flying and I am on my knees. I hear Emmett and his booming laughter first.

"Way to go Swan!" He is screaming in hysterics.

Well I certainly didn't think it was that funny.

"I saved the wine and spinach dip!" I look up and about shit my pants. Because standing right there in the living room with Emmett who is now bent over in hysterics is Edward Cullen. Kill me now please. Edward isn't laughing though, he rushes over to me and helps me up.

"Are you okay?" Edward asks who has a concerned look on his face. He's probably thinking there is something seriously wrong with me, because I keep falling in front of him. Then Rose and Alice come in to see what the big deal is.

"oh my god Bella! Are you okay? Is my Spinach dip okay? Did it survive your clumsiness?" _Really Rose you are more concerned about your dip and not your best friend?_

"yes, yes I am fine, thank you Edward for helping me up. I lost my shoe outside the door and tripped because well you know I'm Bella." I look at Edward and he is still holding on to my arm looking around the floor, I'm assuming trying to locate my lost shoe. I just limp into the kitchen because I would rather die of embarrassment in there then in front of him and stupid Emmett.

As I walk past Emmett I sucker punch him in the gut.

"UGH that hurt Swan!" cried Emmett.

"Serves you right jerk!" and I continue my limp into the kitchen.

Alice and Rose follow me in.

"How do you know Edward Bella?" Alice asks with raised eyebrows.

"He's my new neighbor" and before I could get anything else out I hear Rose screech "is he the one you passed out in front of? He is your hot new neighbor with a hot girlfriend??"

"Yeah that would be him, he probably thinks I'm missing something in my head since I keep falling in front of him, how freaking embarrassing! I think I will stay in the kitchen the entire night. Better yet I think I might just go home"

"NO NO NO! You can't go home! How come I didn't hear anything about a hot new neighbor? And what is this you passed out in front of him. Why didn't you tell me about it Bella?" Alice is now standing in front of me with her hands on her hips. You don't want to mess with a pissed off Alice. So as I am starting to tell my story in walks Edward with my shoe.

"I think you're missing something" he says as he's holding up my lost shoe. Damn shoe! I don't even have the guts to look at him and that damn shoe. I just nod and mumble thanks. All of a sudden he's on one knee in front of me and putting the shoe back on for me. What am I Cinderella? God how I wish I got a pedicure last weekend like I wanted to! He puts it back on my shoe and then pats my foot stands up gives me his crooked grin and walks out. I look around the room to Alice and Rose and their expressions are the same as mine. We are standing there staring at the door with our mouths wide open.

"What the hell was that?" I asked still in shock.

"I think Edward has the hots for you" Alice states with certainty.

"I highly doubt that Alice, you haven't seen his girlfriend yet. She is like blond and beautiful! Plus has a perfect body" I stated.

"Tanya? Yeah she walked in with him and introductions went around. I think Emmett and Jasper were drooling. As for you Ms. Bella you are gorgeous, I wish you would just see that about yourself!"

"She's a total bitch, just walked in like she owned the damn place. It's my home, I don't care for her. She was outside when you came in" Rose poked her head around the corner and said Tanya is now inside and hanging all over Edward.

So what if I fell in front of him again? I do it in front of these four all the time, I shouldn't be so embarrassed, if he weren't so damn hot then I wouldn't care but he is incredibly hot so I cant help myself. I shake myself from my thoughts and go about my story. Alice is intently listening and Rose is flittering about the kitchen deep in thought.

"So what is up with you Rose? You seem to be lost in your thoughts" I asked trying to change the topic. Alice has all the facts she needs no need to talk about it any further.

"Well….." Rose hesitates before she just comes out with it. "I'm pregnant!!"

"WHAT!!!??" Alice and I both shout at the same time.

"shhhh! Keep it down! I'm not supposed to tell anyone!" Rose totally can't hide her excitement. Alice and I both rush over to her and are hugging and squealing and jumping around. Rose and Emmett have been trying forever and have had no luck. She has had one miscarriage so far so I know why she is being cautious in telling us this time around.

"I'm only 8 weeks, but I have a feeling I know this pregnancy is going to be perfect. I just have that feeling. I had to tell you two because I have known for two weeks now and I can't keep it in any more! Emmett thinks we should wait to tell everyone until I have made it past 12 weeks. So don't tell anyone, this will be our secret until we know for sure." Alice and I shake our heads in agreement. We are still hugging on to each other and then pull apart.

"Congratulations Rose! I'm so happy for you guys!" Alice whispers.

I am just standing there grinning and shaking my head in agreement. I really hope this works out for them this time, Rose wants to be a mother so bad and I know she will make a wonderful one as well.

"So is this why I had to make the spinach dip, you have been craving my spinach dip? I like this kid already, it has good taste!"

"Bella it's not an it!" Alice yells at me.

"Well we don't know the sex so until we find that out then yes Alice it's an it!"

Rose just smiles and nods her head yes.

"Ok we can't talk about it anymore. I have to bring these hamburgers out to Emmett, why don't you two make yourselves comfortable out in the living room." And with that Rose walks out.

We make our way out into the living room and I plop down on the couch. Edward and Ms. Tanya are nowhere in site thank goodness! I get comfortable and turn the TV on. I just need to relax and ignore the fact that I made a fool out myself in front of Edward again. Alice is chattering non-stop next to me. Going on about throwing a baby shower and buying baby things, I half tune her out but nod my head so it looks like I am paying attention. I am trying to search the room but not make it obvious I am looking for Edward and Ms. Tanya.

"He is outside with the rest of them Bella, you are so obvious" Alice saw right through me. Damn I thought I was doing it on the sly.

"Whatever I wasn't looking for him"

"You totally have the hots for him don't you? I wonder what his sign is? I bet him and you are totally compatible, you two just look good together."

"Alice what are you talking about? So he might be totally hot, but he is out of my league plus I'm not looking for anyone right now. I joined a gym on Friday" I say trying to change the subject. It worked Alice gets that excited look on her face, she has been trying to get me to go the gym with her and Rose for years and I always refuse. Alice starts talking non-stop again and I tune her out because in walks Edward, Ms. Tanya, Rose and Jasper.

"Oh, ha look who it is! It's the girl that ran into the cement column the other day Edward!" Ms. Tanya laughs and points at me. _I guess her parents didn't teach her any manners._

"Tanya, stop being rude, this is our neighbor Bella." Edwards shakes his head and gives me an apologetic look. _I already knew she didn't have any couth buddy so it's ok. _

"It's nice to see you again Tanya." And with that I turn my head and tune into what Alice has been saying except now Alice is starring daggers at Tanya. Just great. I think I want to go home. Rose comes to my rescue though.

"Hey Tanya? How about you come help me in the kitchen gathering all the condiments up." Tanya gives her this look like _are you crazy_ but gets up anyway and walks out.

"I'm really sorry about that Bella" Edward is looking down and running his hand through his hair. Oh I forgot about his hair, I really just want to reach over and tug on it but resist the urge. I just shrug my shoulders at him and leave it at that.

Emmett announces that dinner is done and we all head outside to get our grub on. Their back yard is absolutely beautiful, Rose really put effort into the garden its like walking out into another world. They have two picnic tables set up with food and we all sit down. Some how I get stuck in between Alice and Edward (which I think is Alice's doing) and Tanya is sitting across from me. She is glaring at me and I just smile at her and start passing around food. Today is just going perfect isn't it? I turn my head to Edward to pass him some food and he is starring at me with a huge smile on his face. I turn bright red, cast my head down and look up at him through my eyelashes and bat them. That makes him smile even wider and chuckle. Holy fuck am I flirting with him? I turn around and see that Tanya is now full on starring at the both of us with the ugliest most hateful look I have ever seen. I think I just made a new enemy.

**THANK YOU THANK YOU for the wonderful reviews and adding my story to your favorites list! Its makes my day when I read them! There isnt as much E/B interaction in this chapter as I had wanted but I will make it my mission to have much more in the next chapter! Also this story will only be in Bella's POV. Sorry I'm not a dude, I dont know how they think and I'm not really that creative! until next time! **


	6. Ch 6 25 pounds down

**I dont own Twilight or it's characters. That is all SM. Enjoy.**

I am sitting at the table just throwing whatever food is in front of me on my plate starring at Tanya. She is giving me such hateful looks. What did I ever do to her? I decide it's probably because I am smiling like a fool with out a clue at her hot Edward.

What am I thinking? I am openly flirting with her boyfriend in front of her and my entire group of friends. He has a girlfriend! What is wrong with me? What is wrong with him? Smiling at me like that? He must know that he can dazzle anything with a va-j-j. Maybe he is just being overly nice to me because I give him free coffee everyday.

Well I'm not playing this game any more. I can't compete with Tanya and I'm not going to either. They are a couple. I watched my parents cheat on each other and I would never harp on any other woman's man even if she were a total bitch. I turn my attention to Alice and the rest of the table, totally ignoring Edward and Tanya. Everyone seemed normal, no one noticed what just happened. Thank goodness! Alice was telling Rose about me joining the gym and the boys were talking football. I sat there and just listened and pushed my food around on my plate. I wasn't really in the mood to eat, not with Ms. Bitch starring at me. That is her new nickname.

Somehow Emmett and Edward start talking about the good ol' days and how much trouble they used to be in. I really wished I knew them back then, they seemed like so much fun. Edward looks so carefree and happy sitting back and telling us all about him and Emmett's escapades. Ms. Bitch is one lucky lady to have him. I completely forgot about Tanya and her insistent glaring at me and enjoyed my time with everyone. We were having such a good time, joking and laughing. Edward seemed to fit in perfectly with us. Somehow the conversation turned into Rose, Alice and Emmett telling Edward about my clumsiness. As if he didn't know already. They had some good stories to share, Edward was cracking up, I just sat there red in the face with my head down. How embarrassing!

"It's ok Bella, there's no need to be so embarrassed we love you just the way you are" Alice squeaked out between hysterics.

They were telling the story about how we all went to Seattle for the weekend to go to a Seahawks game and I ended up falling in front of the whole stadium. They captured it on video and had it up for everyone to see. That would probably be the most embarrassing thing that happened to me by far.

"Thanks Alice" I grumbled. Then all of a sudden I feel a hand on my knee. It was Edward he was squeezing it and laughing non stop. I don't even think he knew he was doing it. It shocked the hell out of me and made me jump. I guess that alerted Edward to what he was doing and he quickly removed his hand. We just looked at each other for a hot minute and I turned around flustered.

All of a sudden Ms. Bitch gets up.

"Edward I am ready to go home." Tanya said angrily. He just looked at her puzzled.

"We haven't even had dessert yet and I haven't hung out with Emmett in such a long time, I'm not ready to leave yet." Edward said.

"I SAID I want to leave Edward. I don't feel well and I would like to leave now. You can see your friends later. Take me home now!" Ms. Bitch shouted as she stomped in the house.

I looked around the table and everyone was just starring wide eyed at Tanya. We were all having such a good time, why does she have to go and ruin it?

"Ok then." Edward turned to the table and looked sad. "Thanks for having us over Emmett, I'm sorry to leave so soon, we should get together next weekend and hang out" Edward said with his head down. He looked so sad. I almost felt sorry for him but he decided to date Tanya so whatever.

Emmett agreed and they left. We all just sat there for a minute and started cracking up.

"Did you see her face?!" Rose was saying, "She looked so mad! And what was up with her starring daggers at you throughout dinner Bella?"

"I have no idea, I have said what two words to her and she hates me!" I said shaking my head.

"Poor Edward, she must be a good lay to keep her around" Emmett confessed and then Rose slapped him on the back of the head.

"Ow, Rosie take it easy, I was just stating the obvious. Why else would he be with her? He didn't talk to her all day."

"That's true, he was too busy starring at Bella. Oohhh that's why Tanya was starring daggers at you Bella!" Alice exclaimed.

"You are crazy, he wasn't starring at me. If I remember correctly he was laughing at me, from all those damn stories you three had to tell!" I was hoping they hadn't noticed the whole hand on the knee thing from earlier.

Talk of Edward and Tanya were over. It was getting late, Rose was exhausted, Alice had school tomorrow and I had to be at work bright and early. We said our goodbyes and I headed home.

As I was pulling into the parking lot at the complex, I saw Edward putting a suitcase in his trunk. Tanya was sitting in the passenger side seat with a nasty scowl on her face. I wonder where they were going. It's a Sunday night and it's late. I just sat in my car because I didn't want them to see me. After Edward pulled out of the complex parking lot I got out and went to my apartment sad. Where were they going? Oh well, I have to get to bed, I have a long day tomorrow.

Work just dragged on and on. Finally it was time to go to the gym. I was so excited but a little scared at the same time. What happened if I broke a bone or sprained something? That would really happen to me! I got to the gym all ready to go. Garrett welcomed me. He weighed and measured me. It was depressing. Garrett reminded me that they are just numbers and soon I would be seeing those numbers getting smaller and smaller. We agreed to weigh in once a week, only at the gym, if I did it at home everyday I would drive myself crazy. We talked over about the food purchases I made and he gave me some great ideas for lunches to bring to work with me everyday. I needed as much fuel as I could get with all the working out I would be doing in the afternoons.

We started out doing cardio, a lot of cardio. He even inclined the treadmill! I don't do inclines! It's too much work. I was panting and dripping in sweat within ten minutes! I was only power walking for a good 20 minutes and my legs were like jello. Garrett wouldn't let me stop though. I liked him much better when we weren't working out. Right now I just wanted to punch his face in! I was in too much pain, I was out of breath and I was too sweaty. We did a few more things, and I was in excruciating pain. I didn't even want to look at Garrett when we were finished.

"Bella, you did a great job today! Go home and relax, tomorrow I might be a little easier on you" Garrett said with a big smile on his face.

"Oh Thanks! I am already looking forward to it!" I said as sarcastically as I could muster. I grabbed my things and hobbled out of the gym. I am going to be so sore tomorrow.

The week went by so fast, I saw Edward twice. He came in to get some coffee, said hello to me and would leave. I didn't see him at home either. The gym was getting easier and I have only been at this for a week now. I guess Garrett does know what he is talking about. I am super sore but it is so worth it.

My first weigh in was this afternoon. It has been a week since I started working out. I was doing really well on my diet, I made everything I ate, and I didn't just grab whatever was easy and shove it in my mouth. I took the time to make my lunches at night, my sleep was even better at night. I wasn't nervous at all when I stepped on that scale.

"Well Bella, looks like you lost 6.2 pounds this week. Good job!" Garrett shouted.

"WHAT! I lost 6 pounds! In one week! That is fantastic!" I was jumping up and down and wrapped Garrett up in a hug. Wow one week and I lost that much! That is crazy! This just makes me want to push harder and lose more weight.

As weeks progressed Garrett incorporated more things into my workouts. We did water aerobics, went out by the water and did outside exercises. He taught me things I could do on my own, when I couldn't get to the gym. I even started going in the mornings and doing classes. Yoga was my favorite. It energized me for my shift at work. I was having so much fun and the pounds were flying off. I felt wonderful, I had so much energy and my skin was getting so much better. I even had to go out and buy some new jeans because I went down three sizes. I didn't talk much to anyone these past few weeks, just quick phone calls to see how everyone was doing and keep them updated on my weight loss progress. Rose was in her second trimester and doing great. Alice was busy at school and Edward, well I haven't seen much of Edward. I haven't seen Tanya at all. I wonder what happened. Who cares, I am so busy with my own life I don't have time to think of that bitch. Or Edward for that matter.

I decided to take weekends off and start hanging out with everyone. Rose needed help getting the nursery ready and I really missed Rose and Alice. I had a routine set up, during the week it was gym, work, read and write. On the weekends it was my time to have fun and have a life.

It has been about two and half months since the bar-b-que, I am down 25 pounds and loving my new body. This weekend, the girls and I are devoting to the nursery. Alice and I will paint while Rose directs us. We aren't allowing her to touch a paintbrush this weekend, she just needs to sit and relax, and we will do all the work. I am headed to my car and I see a flash of bronzed craziness out of the corner of my eye. I turn around and it's Edward, he's washing his car. Gah I haven't seen him in forever! Still hot as ever. He hasn't noticed me yet, which is good because I just want to stand here and enjoy my view. Edward is wearing a white t-shirt with gray basketball shorts. His shirt is wet and soapy from bending over the car. It's like I am watching him in slow motion. You know usually it's a hot chick in a bikini washing the car all erotically. Now it's Edward. I have to leave before I moan out loud or do something stupid. Suddenly he looks up, spots me and smiles.

"Hey Bella! I haven't seen you in a long time! How are you?" he asks as I am starring at him.

I walk over, why not I can't ignore him after he talks to me that would be just rude plus after I have lost all this weight I have so much more confidence.

"Hey! I'm great! I have been super busy lately. It's good to see you. How are you and Tanya doing?" not like I care, but I haven't seen her around lately so I want to know.

"Tanya? Her and I broke up, she moved back to California" all of a sudden the memory of Edward's hand on my knee months ago pops in my head. I was jumping up and down in my head and doing a happy dance. Trying to hide my smile I continue talking to him.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. We all really liked her" did I really just say that?

"Ha yeah it's ok, I'm not too heartbroken about it, It was time for us to break up anyway. And you guys did not like her at all! I think Rose and Alice did a happy dance when they found out" he chuckled. Oh how I love that chuckle he does. What! Wait, Rose and Alice knew about this and they didn't tell me! They are so going to get it this weekend!

"hmm…well…" I couldn't think of anything to say. "I guess I should let you get back to washing your car. You do know we live in Forks right, it's kind of pointless to do that." I said laughing out loud.

"Yeah I know but I'm kind of OCD about cleanliness so yeah…"

"Interesting, well I better get to Rose's don't want to piss the pregnant woman off" I said.

"Do you want to come over for dinner with some time?" Edward blurted out.

What? That came out of nowhere. Did Edward really just ask me out? Oh my gosh! What do I say? I haven't been asked out in eons! I just stood there and stared at him.

"I mean you don't have to if you don't, I just get really lonely at nights and figured it would be nice to have some company." He said while rocking back and forth on his feet.

Oh so its not really like he wants to hang out with me, he's just lonely. Hmm…that makes me feel better. NOT. With my ego deflated I respond the best I can.

"I'll think about it. I really need to go now. It was nice seeing you Edward." and with that I turned and got in my car and left.

I don't know what to think. I speed to Rose's to talk with the girls and relive everything that just happened.

**wow that was a long one! what do you think of bella's weight loss? i think bella is changing her life for the good. so glad Edward got rid of Tanya! More goodies to come now that bella is on the right path. until next time! **


	7. ch 7 yellow nurseries and wii boxing

**Hi All! I am sorry for the delay!!! I have a beta! yay! check her out! TheChapStickQueen. Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter I love reading them! I hope Bella doesnt disappoint in this one! disclaimer: I dont own anything twilight......**

I drove like a bat out of hell to get to Rose's house. Wow, Edward just asked me out. Him and Tanya are no longer together. I have been so wrapped up in my own life, that I didn't notice. Why didn't the girls tell me? So many questions, like did he ask me out because he wants my company in particular or did he just ask me out because he is lonely and he is going to take what he can get. Wait a minute, Edward is the hottest man I have ever laid eyes on. He can get any woman he wants, why ask me?

I pull into Rose's and instantly forget about everything, I haven't seen my girls in forever! I can get to the Edward stuff later.

I walk right in, the door is always open. Emmett is playing wii in the living room and looks up when he hears the door open.

"Whoa Swan, you are looking hot!" he shouted.

"Um…thanks Em. Where are the girls?" I asked while my head was cast down, even though it's Emmett I have never had a man tell me I look hot.

He looked at me with his head cocked to the side for a second, which seemed like an eternity and answered

"In the nursery, where else? Rose spends all her time back there now." Emmett shrugged and went back to his wii game.

I walk down the hallway to where I know the nursery will be and I can hear the ladies chattering away. I stand at the door watching them while they organize and fold all the baby clothes.

"Hey bitches!" They look up at me and their jaws hit the floor.

"Oh my Bella you look so good! I knew you lost the weight but you look fantastic!!" Alice screamed as she leaped up to hug me.

"You do look fantastic Bella B, wow I'm so proud of you for sticking with it!" Rose wasn't as quick as Alice was to get up and give me a big hug.

"Thanks ladies, I feel great. I still have around 30-40 pounds I want to lose though." And with that I did a full circle turn so they could check me out. This was so much fun, I am not one for showing off but I worked damn hard for it and I am going to!

"Ok so what color have you chosen for the nursery Rose" I asked changing the subject from me to the baby.

"Well, we decided that we don't want to know the sex, we want it to be a surprise, so I am thinking of doing yellow. I figure its neutral and it's bright and sunny!" she said as she was struggling to get back down on the floor.

"Ok sounds great, lets get this party started!" with that we started moving everything out and planned our trip to the lovely home depot. I hate that store, there is so much there and I have no idea what I need and whenever I do need help there is no one around to help me.

We arrive back at Rose's and its lunchtime. Rose complained the whole time we were gone that she was hungry. So we cut the trip short to head home. We had the paint and a few supplies that would last us until tomorrow when we did the rest of the decorating.

We pull in and I see Edward's silver Volvo parked out front. What the hell is he doing here? Oh yeah ……

"So guess whom I ran into this morning," I asked as we pulled up. I didn't let them answer I continued right on.

"I saw Edward. He told me that him and Ms. Bitch broke up and that you two knew! How could you not tell me? When did it happen, why did it happen? Details please!" I said out of breath.

"Uh..I don't know it just never came into conversation. You have been super busy the past couple of months. When did they break up Rose?" Alice looked over to Rose to take over.

"It happened right after the bar-b-que. Edward didn't tell Alice or I details but I made Emmett get info out of him. Supposedly she went psycho on him right after the bar-b-que. They got into a huge fight and she left. I guess Edward shipped all her stuff back to California for her, that's how fast she left." Rose explained.

Well now I know why Edward was putting a suitcase in the back of his car that night. That explains a lot.

"Interesting" was all I could come up with.

"Yeah he has been spending a lot of time over at our place, he is really quite, asked a few times where you were though." Rose said with a big smile on her face.

"Well he asked me out this morning. Asked if I would want to come over some time for some dinner. But then he added that I didn't have to and he was just asking because he gets lonely. What does that mean?"

"He asked you out! Bella that's great! Why didn't you tell us that earlier today!! Edward is such a nice guy and he is perfect for you!" Alice screeched.

"I didn't say anything because it doesn't seem like he was asking me out because he likes me, its because he is lonely and I live two apartments down from him."

"Oh Bella, pah-leez. He is so into you! You don't just ask someone over for dinner if you weren't interested in them! Silly Bella, so are you going to go over?" Alice asked.

"I don't know, I told him I would get back to him. I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to dating. Plus he is gorgeous, why does he want to hang out with me? I don't look like a super model. Isn't that what he should go for?" I explained.

"Bella, seriously? Have you looked at yourself lately? You look phenomenal. You have always been beautiful and plus you have so much to offer someone. We can talk about this later, I am freaking starving and I'm ready to punch someone if me and my baby don't get some food, so get out of this car now!" with that we jumped out, unloaded the car and went in.

All three men were in the living room. Jasper and Emmett were boxing each other and Edward, I couldn't help but stare at him as we walked in. He was sitting in the chair and cheering Jasper on while Emmett was yelling at him for picking sides. He was smiling and laughing at them but turned his head to see us walk in. He quickly jumped up and ran over to us grabbing the bags from Alice and mine hands.

"Hi, Bella" Edward gave me his hot crooked grin.

"Hi Edward" I smiled and scurried away towards the kitchen.

"We ordered 3 pizzas, it's in the kitchen. Figured you would be hungry Rose" Emmett screamed from his boxing match.

"Yum, I have been craving pizza for the past week. My monkey man treats me well doesn't he" Rose said with a smile on her face.

Alice and I filed in the kitchen. Oh my god that pizza smells so good! I haven't had any pizza in months! One piece wont hurt! I cant deny myself, if I do then I just will binge later so I grab one piece and smell it and stare at it for a bit.

"So are you going to eat it or are you just going to stare at it like you want to make love to it?" Alice said breaking me out of my trance.

"I don't know, both of those sound tempting but I think I will just eat it." I took a bite and moaned. I actually moaned and who decided to walk in at that moment was Edward.

I just stood there with the pizza up to mouth and froze. Edward smiled at me, grabbed two slices and walked back out.

Phew, that was painless. We decided to take a break and sat in the living room with the guys and watched them play. I stayed on the other side of the room far away from Edward as I could get. Everyone took turns playing, somehow it was mine and Edwards turn to box each other. Again this is Alice's doing, it was her turn but she all of a sudden had to go to the bathroom. I don't know why I am avoiding him, he is now in our group of friends, and he is a nice guy. I can let my shy guard down for a little bit and let loose.

"Watch out Eddie, Bella here is a little competitive and a sore loser" I look over at Emmett and give him a nasty look. So what if I am competitive but I am not a sore loser!

"Well I think I can handle that, I'll go easy on you Bella" Edward said to me as he winked. He winked! Take it easy on me, just you wait buddy.

We get in our boxing stances and wait for the fight to begin. I gave it everything I had; he was down after round two. Take that cocky beautiful man you! Yeah all this working out has helped my wii game out a bit. I can go for a few more rounds before I get tired.

"Remind me not to sneak up on you in a dark ally Bella" Edward chuckled. I seriously love his laugh, I turn bright red and respond.

"I'm sorry Edward, I should have gone a little easier on you. Next time I will though" I smiled and winked back at him. HA take that, two can play this game.

"Come on Em, I wanna kick your ass in this boxing match for calling me a sore loser".

We played for an hour more and somehow us ladies convinced the men that painting should be their job. Plus we reminded them that Rose couldn't do anything and you most defiantly don't want to see me on a ladder high up in the air and Alice, well she can't seem to focus on one thing at once.

It took the men two hours to paint the room, where is it would have taken Alice and I 5 hours. It was getting late and I decided I needed to leave. I said my goodbyes and Edward decided that he needed to leave as well and walked out with me. We walked out in awkward silence, Edward walked me to my car and just stood there while I searched for my keys in my purse.

"Listen Bella, I didn't mean to ask you out the way I did earlier today."

Ok, so did you mean you didn't want to ask me out at all? You don't have a good way with words there buddy.

"I just figured it would be nice to get to know you, I have been hanging out with Em, Rose, Alice and Jasper a lot for the past two months and they talk nothing but good things about you. I know you have been busy and I just would really like to get to know you." He smiled and looked down running his hand through his hair. Oh how I wish I could run my hands through his hair!

"That sounds like a good idea. You know where I live Edward, I'm home every night if you would like to stop by." We smiled at each other and said our goodbyes. I got in my car and I couldn't help but smile the entire way home.

**More to come with this bella and edward! Happy St. Patty's day! dont forget to wear your green!**


	8. Ch 8 Gone with the Wind

**Hi all! finally ch. 8! hope you enjoy. disclaimer....i dont own twilight, SM does. **

It has been four days. Four long days since Edward Cullen has told me he wants to get to know me better. Four days of sex filled dreams, sitting outside every night in hopes to get a glimpse of him and nothing. No stopping by my apartment, no getting to know me. Nothing. My workouts have been angst filled, which yes is good, definitely a good way to get my aggressions out. I guess this is what happens when I get my hopes up, it's stupid for me to even think something would remotely happen between the two of us.

Sunday I went to Rose's hoping he would be there as well. After all it was Sunday fun day football all day long day as Emmett likes to call it. Nope I guess he had to go to his parent's house. He must be a good son, I only hang with my parents on holidays. Then Monday I made sure I sat outside on my porch to read, waiting to see if he stopped by on his way home. He never came home and if he did it was long after I had gone in. My only company these four lonely nights was the one cat that sticks around my porch eats all my canned food and craps everywhere. I named him Billy, don't know if it's a girl or a boy but it looked like a Billy so Billy it is. Its Friday, now that I take weekends off I have no idea what to do with my Friday nights. Alice and Jasper always have date nights on Friday's and Rose well now that she is 5 months pregnant she is in bed super early every night. Finally I decide to have a life and my friends can't join in. I'm sick of sitting on my porch waiting for Edward to show up so I decide I am going to make myself a nice dinner, drink some wine. Well maybe drink the entire bottle of wine and watch a movie. Won't be watching some stupid sappy love story, no horror that's for sure, I would be up all night thinking something was lurking in the shadows. So I will just settle for a comedy. After perusing my movie choices at home I have come to find all my comedies are centered on love. Well damn it all to hell. No movie, I will just settle for reading.

I have this thing where I like to read the books that were later made into movies. Trust me when I say the book is always better, there is one exception though and that is the only one I have been able to find so far. I started Gone with the Wind at the beginning of the week, it's a huge book, a little daunting but having four lonely pitiful nights I have read most of it and am almost done. I'm getting really into it when there is a knock at the door. I look at the clock and its 9:47, what the hell. The lights are on so I can't ignore it. What if it's a serial killer or something? I slowly get up from the couch and tip toe to the front door. Thank goodness I have the blinds drawn. I sneak up to the peephole and realize I am holding my breath. Why am I holding my breath, silly Bella its probably just the old cat lady, I get visits from her every once in awhile. I look out and all I see is a head full of bronzed craziness. OH MY GOD its Edward! He stands up and I can see his face now, he looks nervous. Running his hands through his hair, he does that a lot I've noticed. He is clutching something to his chest. We both stand there for a minute and he is slowly turning to leave. What! No! Please don't leave! I quickly open the door and step outside.

"Edward?" I call after him.

He turns around and gives me his panty-dropping smile.

"Hi Bella, I'm sorry I am coming over so late, I just got home and noticed your lights were on so I decided to stop by. I hope you don't mind, but I brought a movie, I was wondering if you wanted to watch it." He's looking at me like he scared or something and continues on talking.

"I mean I shouldn't just assume and bring it I should have come over and asked you first. Sorry I haven't been home a lot lately things at work have been hectic, my mom and dad had to go out of town all of a sudden and I had to pick up all his patients on top of mine and I have to stay late at night to get all the paperwork done. I had planned on coming over Sunday night but after meeting with my parents I had to head over to Port Angeles and get all his appointments settled for the week. I'm sorry I'm rambling. It's ok if you don't want to hang out, um..I'll just go home now."

I just stood there completely caught off guard by his ramblings. He is so cute when he's nervous. I should say something instead of standing here freezing and starring at him.

"No, no its ok. I was just reading, you are more then welcome to come in if you'd like." I smile widely at him. Good for you Bella.

"Really?" he asks surprised.

Uh yeah I wouldn't invite you in if I didn't want you in, hell I wouldn't have even opened the door. duh.

"Yeah I guess you're right" Edward chuckled. Wait did I just say that out loud? Damn I guess I drank too much wine tonight.

We head inside and just stand there for a second, which seemed to be forever. What do I do next? Maybe offer him some wine? Sit down and continue reading? No that would be rude.

"So can I get you anything to drink? I have some Riesling, or water or milk. Sorry the choices are slim" I laugh.

"Wine would be nice thank you" and with that he sits down on the couch and makes himself comfortable. He looks so perfect sitting there, like he was meant to be here. Crazy talk I say!

"What movie did you bring?" I asked

"Um Paranormal Activity. I grabbed the first one I saw"

Shit really isn't that supposed to be scary, I cant do scary movies.

"Isn't that supposed to be scary?" I say shuddering at the thought of what the movie was.

"It's not too bad, I didn't get scared watching it."

"Well that's because you are a guy and would never admit to getting scared! Isn't that like in the guys handbook or something?"

"Guys handbook, I never knew something like that existed" Edward chuckled.

Damn did you have to go and laugh, I love that laugh.

"I don't know, Emmett and Jasper are always talking about it, I only half pay attention to them though."

"That sounds like something Emmett would come up with" he laughs again as he's shaking his head.

Talking to Edward is so nice; it's so comfortable like I have known him for a lifetime. I decide to make popcorn; it will take my mind off of him sitting next to me and the scary film on the TV. I look over and Edward is getting the movie all set up, and then gets comfortable on the couch. The more I look at him I can see the dark circles under his eyes, he must have been really busy and stressed out this week.

Popcorn is done and with the wine in my hand I set off for the couch.

We get situated, both at opposites sides of the couch. I feel like I'm in high school again, except when I was in high school I wasn't watching movies with boys.

The movie isn't so bad; there are some scenes like when she is standing there during her sleep that freaks me out. Edward and I have moved closer to each other as the movie goes on. I can't help but sneak peaks at him from the corner of my eye, he looks like he is asleep. Huh I guess I'm that good of company, I snort.

All of a sudden the chick in the movie is being dragged by whatever is in her house and I scream and throw popcorn all over us. I wake Edward up in the process

"What's going on? Are you ok?" Edward asks as he is shaking the sleepiness out of his head.

"Yeah I'm ok, it's freaking me out though, things like this could actually happen! How were you not scared watching this!?" I almost scream at him. I hate to be like such a girl but crap this shit is now freaking me out, I am never going to sleep tonight! Every little creek in this place is going to keep me up!

"It's ok, I'm right here, it's just a movie Bella" Edward says as he scoots closer to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

This is nice, his arm wrapped around me. I have a warm and fuzzy feeling all over me. I could stay like this forever. He is most definitely a keeper. We continue to watch the movie and I can feel his breaths becoming shallow, crap he is asleep again! What the hell! Either he is really tired or I am just not entertaining enough. I don't know how to entertain during a movie, you sit and watch it that's all.

The end of the movie freaks me the fuck out! I scream again and poor Edward is jolted awake again. Whoops, well that's what you get for bringing a scary movie over to a woman's house and then fall asleep on her! I don't move I just sit there starring at the TV.

"That scary huh Bella?" Edward asks.

"Yes, yes it was, and now I am never going to sleep because of how freaked out I am."

"I'm sorry, I really didn't think it was that scary the first time I saw it and I wasn't sure what you liked movie wise."

"Oh no I like scary movies, I just don't watch them because I sleep alone at night"

"OH" Edward is still sitting next to me except he moved his arm off of me and now I feel like something is missing.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep, I should've been able to stay up, I have been wanting to spend time with you and the first chance I get I fall sleep on you" he looks down at his lap as he is talking to me.

How sweet maybe he does like me.

"It's ok, you look exhausted I don't blame you" as I say this I turn to him and I don't know what comes over to me but I reach out to him with my hand and rub his dark circles under his right eye with my thumb.

He leans his head into my hand and closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I sit there frozen I don't want to move I don't want this moment to end. I really want to kiss him, I just have this unbridled urge to just do it.

I guess I sat there a little too long because all of a sudden Edward grabs my waist and moves me closer to him. I am stunned out of my thoughts and into what is really happening. Edward is going to kiss me.

**da da da.....a cliffie! cant wait to see what happens between these two in chapter nine!!!**


	9. Ch 9 I hate big butts!

**Hi everyone! I don't own anything twilight or i like big butts, those belong to SM and SIR MIX A LOT. Enjoy!**

_Flashback:_

_"It's ok, you look exhausted I don't blame you" as I say this I turn to him and I don't know what comes over to me but I reach out to him with my hand and rub his dark circles under his right eye with my thumb._

_He leans his head into my hand and closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I sit there frozen I don't want to move I don't want this moment to end. I really want to kiss him, I just have this unbridled urge to just do it._

_I guess I sat there a little too long because all of a sudden Edward grabs my waist and moves me closer to him. I am stunned out of my thoughts and into what is really happening. Edward is going to kiss me._

Edward is leaning into me, in my head I'm freaking out. I haven't kissed a man in a long time. Is it like riding a bike do you just hop back on and remember how to do it? What if I suck? Haha suck, no time for jokes Bella you have to concentrate. He's licking his lips, so I lick mine as well. Closer, closer, I close my eyes and wait for it. It's taking forever might I add, just kiss me already!

_I like big butts and I can not lie, all you other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get SPRUNG!.._

I instantly pull away from Edward.

"Um..What the hell?" I ask totally dumbfounded by what's happening.

Edward just looks at me with embarrassed eyes and then looks down at his pocket and then back at me, all the while Sir Mix A Lot is still singing.

"I can ignore it, I'm sorry. It's Emmett." He's rambling as he pulls his phone out and silences it.

"Why is Emmett calling you this late?" I am still just sitting there, Edward was about to kiss me and Emmett of all freaking people has to call and ruin the damn moment!

"I don't know, probably about Sunday, can we just continue what we were about to do?" he has all this hope in his eyes.

Continue.. what we were about to do? He makes it sound like a game of freeze tag.

Sorry buddy, but the moment is dead and I am really just confused. What's wrong with you Bella? He obviously wants to kiss you; he wants to continue, why won't you continue with him? That is a good question, and I just don't have the answer to it.

"It's getting late, I think I should go to bed, plus you look like you could use a good nights rest." I say with hesitation. I really want that kiss.

"Uhmm, yeah. Sounds, good." Edward said as he scratched the back of his neck while almost silently cursing Emmett and stood up.

I walk him to the door and we just stand there looking at each other for a minute.

"So will I see you Sunday at Rose and Emmett's? You know Sunday...fun day...all day long whatever you call it?" Edward asked again with hope in his eyes. I feel so bad; I don't know what's wrong with me. I answer and just flat out lie.

"I have plans that day, so yeah probably not, thanks for coming over and bringing the movie to watch." I swear I could of prepared for sepukku at that moment.

"Ok, sweet dreams Bella" Edward smiles at me and leans in again. This time it was only a hug. At least I got something tonight.

"Good night Edward" and with that I close the door.

I turn around and lean up against the door and slowly slide down. What is wrong with You, stupid? You have been crushing on this man forever. Finally you get a chance to see what it would be like to kiss him and you go and ruin it. Well actually that would be Emmett ruining the moment. Why did he pick that song for Emmett? Knowing Emmett he probably picked it out for him, like he does on all of our phones. Mine for him is Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. Don't ask.

I slowly get up and turn out all the lights. Ill clean up my mess tomorrow, I have no energy to do it now. I get ready for bed and slide in. I just lay there going over again and again in my head of our almost kiss.

Maybe it's a good thing that Emmett interrupted us. What if I was a horrible kisser and Edward would be so disgusted. Thinking he could do so much better then myself and find a model to date. Someone who knew what they were doing. No, no that can't be it. He wouldn't have come over and did what he almost did if he didn't want to.

It's been hours I have been lying in this bed, and my mind has been buzzing of all different kinds of solutions or excuses. When it comes down to it, I am just scared. I'm scared of rejection. My whole life I have been this way, I just don't go out and do it. Always too afraid that I will be rejected and then made a fool out of. I really can't see Edward doing that to me though. I wish I could just let go and just be carefree and not care about those things. Maybe I can work on them. I mean I did change my life. I have been overweight my whole life, and the whole being scared is a part of being overweight. I kept to myself, was super self-conscience. But now I am changing my life. I'm not that overweight insecure little kid anymore. I am a grown woman and I look good, I feel good, I just wish I could act on those feelings. This is something I am going to have to work on by myself and hopefully Edwards's feelings for me haven't washed away from my stupid lameness tonight. After my revelations I finally fell into a nice peaceful sleep.

This weekend went by fast; I stayed away from Rose and Emmett's house for Sunday fun day. I couldn't face him just yet. I got ten million phone calls from Rose and Alice, I lied and told them I had to go into work and do some things. I feel terrible for lying but I'm not ready to face him yet.

Instead I went up to Port Angeles and walked by the water and strolled down the shops, had lunch sitting out on the patio of my favorite Italian restaurant. All by myself and I have to say it was liberating. I didn't constantly think people were looking at me and pitying me for being alone. I enjoyed it. I like this new outlook on life.

* * *

Monday came about and back to work I go. It's been getting a little slower, which is nice. Time to enjoy the little break. Maybe I'll take some vacation time, I know Alice has some kind of fall break coming up. We can all get away for a few days. I have so much time saved up I could probably take a year off.

I hit the gym as usual in the afternoon. I walk in and get ready as I usually do before every session by stretching. I'm on the floor with legs spread bending over and stretching my back when I hear a throat clear.

I turn around to see a very upset Garrett and a handsome man next to him. He's tall, like super tall with russet colored skin, and jet black long hair. I don't like long hair on men, but this man is gorgeous. The features on his face are well defined and stand out. I must be sitting there with my mouth open and just starring because Garrett clears his throat again.

"Hi Bella, I would like for you to meet Jacob." He points to Jacob who is standing next to him with a big goofy smile on his face.

"Jacob this is Bella, the one I was telling you about" What exactly have you been telling him about, Garrett?

Jacob reaches his hand out to mine.

"It's nice to meet you Bella." I take his hand and he helps me up.

"Nice to meet you as well Jacob, I hope Garrett has been only telling you the nice things about me, ha-ha." I chuckle.

"Yes he most certainly has, and please call me Jake." Still holding his hand I'm looking between him and Garrett. Why am I meeting him?

"Ok Jake, so Garrett what's up? Why so glum?" I ask, because he looks just so sad and wearied.

"Oh Bella, I have to leave for a few weeks, Kate my wife, her sister Irina has become very, very ill and we are leaving to go spend time with her." He says as he is looking down. My heart breaks for him.

"I'm so sorry to hear that Garrett"

"Yes, well we are headed up to Alaska tomorrow morning and Jake here is my replacement. He will be working with you until I come back."

"Oh ok." I don't know if I like that, Garrett and I understand each other, he knows my hard limits. What if I hit some kind of plateau with this Jake guy?

"So today's session you will be with the both of us. Well Jake mostly, I have already gone over with him all that we do and things like that. Jake is very good at what he does, I have complete faith in him to keep you motivated"

"Sounds great, let's get started shall we?" I look over at Jake and he still has that goofy grin on his face.

Two hours later and I am a heaving sweaty mess. Garrett and Jake are total opposites; I have done things in this session that I have never done before. I am beat. I want to strangle this Jake guy, couldn't he have taken it easy on me? You know break me in first? I didn't show him any weakness though; I took his verbal beatings and sucked it up. I actually feel good; it's nice to sweat out all my aggressions from the last week. After I'm done with my brutal session today Jake does a 360 and is back to his goofy grinning self. Weirdo. I head to the locker room and get ready to leave. On my way out to give Garrett a hug and give him my sympathies toward his sister-in-law. I avoid Jake at all costs. He is not beautiful anymore he is like the anti Christ of working out! It's going to be an interesting couple of weeks.

I get out to my car and I see someone out of the corner of my eye running up to me. Quick get in the car, I should have had my keys in my hands. That way I could have gotten in quicker. I turn around I see its Jake. Oh joy, what does he want.

"Hey Bella, that was a great session today"

"Um, yeah, sure it was...uh huh."

"I'm sorry I was brutal on you, I was wondering if you know you would like to um..would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight? You know as professionals, and you could give me a run down on your likes and dislikes while working out? yeah." He has in his pockets and shuffling his feet from side to side as he is talking to me.

Is he seriously asking me out to dinner? I have been giving him the stink eye the entire time during our workout session! What makes you think I want to go out to dinner with you?

"It's not like a dinner date Bella, I just you know, um ok yeah I would just like to get to know you better"

What is it with men lately and wanting to get to know me better? He looks so nervous and kind of cute. Wait no he's not cute, he's the workout nazi remember! Oh hell, just do it. It's a free dinner and not a night alone waiting on your patio for Edward to show up. Oh Edward, I forgot about him. Well here is to getting rid of my insecurities.

"Sure, dinner sounds nice. I live in Forks though, so"

"That's perfect, I live in La Push, I can pick you up if you'd like, or we can meet up. Up to you"

I don't even think before answering.

"Pick me up at 7" and with that I give him my address and cell number and head out.

I rush home and shower and change, don't have long until he picks me up. I actually haven't thought much of what I am doing tonight. Is this a date? What happened to having feelings for Edward? Is this like cheating or something? No it's not cheating if you aren't dating anyone. Edward and I aren't dating and I like him I really, really like him but I have to keep my options open. Plus this isn't a date, Jake said so himself.

I hear the doorbell ring and am brought out of my thoughts. Ok well it's now or never. I head to the door and there Jake is, he's dressed in dark wash jeans with just a plain gray t-shirt on. The shirt really brings out his broad shoulders and those muscles. Wow those muscles. Snap out of it Bella.

"Hi Bella, you look beautiful." How sweet, I have never had anyone tell me I look beautiful.

"Thanks." I mutter as I am locking the front door, we head out and I can feel his hand on the lower part of my back.

Something just doesn't feel right. I quickly glance over at Edward's place. What a mistake that was, because there's Edward standing outside his front door, all dressed up. Must have just gotten home from work. I go to smile at him but the look on his face tells me not to. His eyes are dark and his mouth is in a tight line. If looks could kill his would. I quickly drop my head down and walk out with Jake. What have I done?

**uh-oh jake is thrown into the mix! I hope you all enjoyed, leave me some reviews please i love them :) happy holiday weekend! **


	10. Ch 10 Dinner Date or no Dinner date?

**HI everyone! Thank you for the reviews! i love getting them. for those of you who didn't like Bella lying...I'm sorry, but we are all human and make mistakes and yes we do lie here and there (if you don't then more kudos to you!;) ). There was another question about what i started Bella's weight on and I decided to have her at 205 lbs. and you are right it wouldn't go down three sizes. I was going off from my personal weight loss and it was so long ago I had lost 40 lbs to go down those sizes. So I apologize about that one. That was totally my bad, but going from 205 to 180 is a nice significant change :) don't worry about Jake in this chapter...I just threw him in there to help open Bella's eyes a little. **

**Oh yeah, I don't own anything twilight......we all know who does :)**

I feel absolutely horrible after seeing Edwards face. Guilty, sad, horrified, the list could go on and on. We get to Jakes car and I am instantly regretting this whole dinner thing date whatever you want to call it. Jake is going on and on about who knows what. I am smiling and nodding because that's the nice thing to do but all I can think about is Edwards face as he saw me with Jake. If he only knew the feelings I had for him. What are my feelings for Edward? I don't know him well, I know he's gorgeous, he's kind, doesn't make fun of me for all my miss steps. He almost kissed me for crispy sakes! What am I doing? I look over at Jake so carefree and laughing and oblivious to the fact that I am not paying the least bit of attention to him. Lets just hope this dinner finishes up quickly so I can go home and sulk by myself. Maybe if I go over to Edwards and talk with him I can explain things, he will understand. Hell I will make him understand. What if he wants nothing to do with me any more? Oh the thought of that makes me even sicker to the stomach, can Jake just pull over so I can vomit out whatever I have in my stomach?

Before I can decide whether or not I can puke, Jake has pulled into a little diner. Well scratch that idea. All right lets get this over with. We go inside, it's not too busy, it's a Monday night, which means we should get our food fast and get home.

We sit down and it's an awkward silence. He was so chatty in the car, I'm peering down at my menu and I just have no appetite what so ever. Que the waitress, thank goodness.

"Hi folks, what can I get ya this fine evening?" _Folks? What the hell?_

Jake nods to me so I can order first. _Ok just pick the first thing you see_.

"I'll just have chef salad…um…no cheese or eggs thanks" I look to Jake so he can continue.

"Ill have the seafood combo and a coke please."

More awkward silence.

"So Bella, do you want to tell me the things you like and dislike while working out. My teaching technique is different from Garrett's, so I want to know how far I can push you."

_Phew ok I can do this; this is all this is, business_.

So I proceeded to tell him everything. My whole story, well the short version, what I liked doing as far as working out goes and all that jazz. We went over the things he liked to do workout wise with clients and came up with what I believe to be a good workout relationship.

"So Bella are you seeing any one?" _Where the hell did that come from? How do I answer that? Think, Think._

"Yes and no." _yeah that's a good answer_.

"So which is it?" _so what do I say? I have this hot neighbor, who I have been drooling over since I met him, he broke up with his hot ass girlfriend and tells me he wants to get to know me better, he goes to kiss me and I totally freak out on him and tell him to leave....nope not saying that...so instead I say this._

"It's complicated. What is to you?" _now I am getting annoyed_.

"I'm just curious. I'm actually on a "break" from my girlfriend." _Oh great and he actually did the air quotations as well_.

"Yeah, we have been together since high school. Soul mates that sort of thing. I think we have broken up and gotten back together like ten times already. So I'm pretty sure we will be getting back together."

"What makes you so sure?"

"We were meant to be together Bella, you just know. She's a stubborn lady, sometimes she needs to cool off."

"Why are you telling me all this Jake?" _I'm still annoyed. All this soul mates bullshit. GAH! _

"I don't know, you just seem so easy to talk with. I think, well I know I'm going to ask her to marry me." Jake says with a big smile on his face.

Well I can definitely rule out this dinner as being a date. Guilt is still there. I wonder what Edward is doing, what does he think of me? Does he believe in soul mates?

"That's great Jake!" I actually manage to say it with enthusiasm.

"Yeah sorry I just got the ring so I am super excited." Jake says with his big grin still on his face.

"Well that's great I'm happy for you, but I think we should get going. I have an early morning and you have a proposal to plan." _Hmm I wonder if Alice would let me come over and vent she always knows how to fix things_.

"Yes you are right. Lets go" Jake took care of the bill after I argued with him to let me pay for half. _Owell_.

On the way home I text Alice to see if I can come over real quick and she texted me back instantly saying I could.

We get back and I say my goodbyes. Then I hop in my car, after I watched  
Jake drive away. I am afraid to look over at Edwards so I just don't. I look down at the clock and notice its only 8:30, good that dinner didn't last as long as I thought it did. I arrive at Alice's minutes later and hop out.

Alice is waiting for me at the door with a glass of wine in one hand her other hand resting on her hip. Great I know that look. That's the _what have you gotten yourself into now Swan_ look. Alice is all knowing though; she can help me fix this thing with Edward if there is still a thing there to fix.

"So what do I owe this pleasure Bella? We missed you on Sunday you know" _oh shit, she's laying the guilt on me. _

"I know I'm sorry about Sunday, it's complicated but I need your help. I have no idea what to do"

"Ok, forgiven" she chirps and turns around and skips inside. That's one of the many things I love about Alice, easily forgiven and forgotten.

She sits down and motions for me to sit with her. I look around, usually Jasper is in the living room watching TV but he is nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Jasper?"

"In the bedroom, I said I needed some girl time. Now stop stalling and get started with your story."

"oh, ok." I told her everything. I started from the way beginning from just meeting Edward and how I was attracted to him, which she already knew. Then I told her about Friday and how I pushed him away and then today with the whole Jake thing. She listened intently and oo'd and aw'd at the appropriate times.

"So you are telling me that hot ass Edward went to kiss you and because Emmett interrupted you totally just kicked him out!? And then you go out with some guy you just met today! Tsk, Tsk Bella"

"I wouldn't say I kicked him out, I was just confused Alice. What does he see in me? He can have anyone and why is he choosing to get to know me and then try to kiss me I just don't understand it. The whole thing with Jake I don't know why I even agreed to go, but he is planning on marrying his "soul mate", so that's a moot point" I argue as I'm looking down at my lap.

"Bella, you just don't see yourself clearly at all do you? How many times do I have to tell you, scratch that Rose and I both have to tell you that you have so much to offer someone? You a beautiful, strong woman and Edward can see that. Why can't you see that?"

"I don't know Alice. I lived my whole life just existing. Noone gave me the time of day. Edward just seems to good to be true. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to be made a fool of."

"Edward wouldn't do that to you Bella, I have gotten to know him well these past few months and he's a great guy. You two were meant to be together. I saw it the first time I saw you two together."

"Alice you know I don't believe in that "soul mates" crap." again with the air quotations.

"You call it crap now Bella but just you wait." I know better then to bet against Alice.

"Listen this is what you have to do, just go to Edward, be honest with him. I bet he was just jealous seeing you with another man. Let him know your insecurities."

"I can't do that Alice, its too embarrassing."

"Its not embarrassing, its what you do in a relationship. You are honest with the other person, they help you with it. Let Edward help you."

"We aren't in a relationship Alice"

"Hmm…you are friends aren't you that is a form of relationship. Just don't give up Bella, you deserve to be happy and whole and I know Edward can do that for you."

"Make the next move Bella, don't sit and wait around for him. I know if you do that you will think too much and chicken out and when he does come around, because I know he will, you are going to totally push him out of your life and then what. Be lonely for the rest of your life!" Alice screeched at me with her hands waving in front of my face.

"Ok, ok I get what you are saying. What should I do? What should I say?" I surrender.

"That my dear is all you. Just be honest. Talk with your heart not with your head."

"hmmm….ok, thanks Alice. You always know how to make me feel better. That and tell me where the dog is buried." I chuckle.

"No problem, what are best friends for? Oh and don't come up with some bullshit lie for Sunday. I'm on to you Swan"

"I won't I promise and again I am sorry."

With that we get up and Alice walks me to the door and wraps me up in huge hug. We say our goodbyes and I hop back in the car headed for home.

I avoid Edwards place like the plague as I arrive home. I need to think of what I am going to do to fix this. All night I racked my brain. Didn't get too much sleep, but I really didn't think I would anyway.

Finally I decide I am going to make him my grandma Swans famous lasagna. What man would turn down food? Ill make it when I get home and then bring it over to him when he gets home from work. Then I'll just lay it all out for him. He can decide what he wants to do from there. I really hope I didn't screw things up too much.

**So I hope you all enjoyed! More E/B in the next chapter! Reviews good and bad make my day! Leave me some love please :) **


	11. Ch 11 Lasagna does a body good

**Hi everyone!!! Thank you ladies for your well wishes! We are feeling so much better now! We actually got everyone sick so that was a fun few weeks let me tell you! I wanted to get a chapter out to the readers so here it is. It's not my fave by far but I am my own worst critic. I really need a Beta, the one I had is MIA. So if anyone is interested please, please email me. I cant guarentee a prompt response b/c this week is going to be a little hectic for me, but i will get back to you if anyone is interested which i really hope someone is! ok go on now read this chapter. **

**oh yeah i dont own twilight....**

I had barely any sleep last night; I just kept going over and over in my head what I would say to Edward. How do you start? Do I just pretend I never saw him while I was leaving with Jake and pretend nothing happened? Or do I just jump right in and be like oh yeah the guy you saw me with, he's my trainer...no need to worry. Yeah right, the second option is a no go. I'm sure Edward didn't care, no he has to have cared he was giving us the stank eye. AHHHHHHH why is it so damn complicated being a woman?? Do guys over analyze every little stupid minute detail? I don't think so!

I hid at work all morning long just incase there was a slight chance that Edward came in for his morning coffee. Of course I was crazy stalker lady and peeped thru the little window of the back door like every two minutes. My staff probably thought I was losing my mind. Actually I think I am losing my mind. That is quite possible. I am acting down right crazy. Another reason to not date, then you don't go all crazy and stalker like. See even my thoughts are jumbled and crazy!! Needless to say he didn't come in and that was disheartening. What if he never wants to talk to me again? I should have just kissed him the other night. Stupid me. I hid and sulked in my office the rest of the day pretending to do invoices. My lunch break was spent buying all the ingredients for grandma Swan's famous lasagna. I have perfected the recipe and I can do that shit in my sleep so it wont take me long to get it done when I get home.

My training session with Jake wasn't bad this afternoon. There was no awkwardness between us after our dinner out last night. Which I was totally thankful for. He didn't mention his girlfriend soon to be fiancé at all and I didn't want to bring it up. I just wanted to do my sets and get out of there as soon as I could. Except Jake's way of training kind of kicked my butt and now I am super sore. O well. I said my goodbyes and raced home before I hit any nasty Port Angeles traffic on the way home.

I got home rushed inside got everything ready and started prepping. An hour later the lasagna was in the oven and I run to take a shower. I kept the front door open so I could be stalkerish again and repeatedly check to see if Edward has gotten home early. He hasn't so I ran to take a quick shower so my stinkiness and I don't repulse him. That is if he even graces me with his presence tonight! There I go again…

What should I wear? This is when I need Alice and Rose here; they would know what to put me in. I am just going to have to settle on a pair of jeans and a plain long sleeve v-necked dark blue top. I'll just let my hair air-dry. I don't want to seem like I am trying too hard do I? No this is me, I'm simple. I'm comfortable in jeans and not wearing makeup or doing anything special with my hair. After all this is supposed to be a "oh I just wanted to make some lasagna would you like to join me type thing" he doesn't need to know I obsessed about it all day and all last night.

I check outside again and see Edward still isn't home so I crank up my ipod and get to making the salad and garlic bread. In the process I open up a bottle of wine, its Merlot not my fave but it goes with the meal better then my fave Riesling, so I pour myself a glass, maybe this will help me relax a little. I guess I get a little too relaxed because that boom boom song from the black eyed peas comes on and I start gyrating at the kitchen counter while chopping tomatoes. I turn around to grab the cucumber and I see Edward standing there in my living room watching me with the sexiest grin on his face I have ever seen. I'm just standing there with my jaw to the ground taking him in. He has dark jeans on with a light blue long sleeved button down shirt on. The top buttons are undone and his dark blue tie is loosened. I could seriously come home and wait for him to walk thru the door looking like this for the rest of my life. His hair is all disheveled, which I want to mess up even more by running my hands thru it. Wait a minute…I was just gyrating in my kitchen, how embarrassing and he walked in on that! Ok can I die now?

After what feels like ten minutes Edward breaks my gawking and speaks.

"Hey, sorry I came home and heard your music blasting and saw that your door was open. I did knock a couple of times but you were really into ….um..chopping something to notice so I just let myself in. I hope you don't mind," he says with the same damn sexy smirk he had when I first saw him.

_Think of something to say, don't sound stupid. Maybe he didn't see me dancing like a fool. Yeah no he probably did._

"Oh yeah that's ok" _lame_

"So do you have plans tonight? It smells delicious in here" he hinted but it seemed kind of like he was angry about something.

"No, no plans at all. I was just craving my grandma Swan's lasagna. I was going to come over and see if you maybe wanted to come over and eat with me_." Hey that wasn't so hard now was it Bella?_ Then I try to give him my sexy smile back, but really I'm sure it just turned out to be a frown. I always tend to frown when I try to smile.

His face lightens up and doesn't seem angry anymore.

"Actually, that sounds really fantastic. I've been so busy lately I haven't had a nice home cooked meal in forever. I'm just going to go home and change, I'll be right back" and then he runs out. I'm too in awe of his presence to respond to him.

Then it hits me, Edward is really going to have dinner with me. Is this a date? Here we go again the great date debate. I'm not going to think of that. I quick run to turn off the music so I don't happen to gyrate and swing my arms in the air without thinking. Do a once over in the mirror to make sure I have nothing on my face and gulp down the rest of my wine.

I'm setting the table when Edward just walks right in. He is holding up another bottle of wine.

"Thought we could use something to drink to go with dinner" again with that smile. He keeps doing that and I am not going to be able to speak in his direction all night.

So I just nod and turn to get the lasagna out of the oven and the rest of the food ready while Edward finishes setting the table. The silence is golden and it just feels so right with him in the room with me. We move about each other with such ease like we have been doing this for fifty years.

We sit down and dish out our food. It's quiet, but not a bad kind of quiet. I cant help but look over at Edward and watch the way his lips wrap around his fork and the little moans coming out of him.

"Bella this is delicious, my mothers pales in comparison to yours. Oh but don't tell her that, that we can keep between us" then he winks and keeps shoveling food in his mouth. I smile and I'm sure the blush is evident enough, so I cast my eyes down and eat my food in silence.

"So how was.."

"Last night I saw.."

We both said at the same time. I quickly tell him to go ahead because I'm sure he is going to ask about Jake and I would rather just get this over with.

He chuckles and continues.

"Yeah um, last night I um saw you with." He stops and looks down at his food, he looks to be in real debate in his head with what he wants to say and what he is going to say.

"Let me start again, so what did you do last night?" he looks at me and smiles a big bright smile. It pains me to look at it, I can't believe I am thinking that but it just seems like its too forced. Might as well bite the bullet Bella.

"Last night? Well my regular trainer Garrett had to go out of town, a family member of his is really sick. So" I emphasize the o part and continue after a deep breath.

"Long story short, I have a new trainer. His name is Jake, he asked me out to dinner. It wasn't a date. He wanted to go over with me in more detail about what I like in my training sessions." I say in one breath.

I peek up at Edward thru my eyelashes and wait to see what he says. He looks like he is contemplating something.

"Are you sure it wasn't a date? You two looked pretty cozy." Is he jealous? Is that jealousy I am hearing?

"No totally wasn't a date, in fact my trainer Jake is planning on proposing to his girlfriend" I left out the part that him and his girlfriend aren't actually together at this moment in time. Well at least they weren't as of yesterday.

"Ok" _that's it? That's all you have to say? I was panicking all day long and all I get is an ok! Well at least I put it out there that there is nothing there with Jake and me._

After that we continue dinner and we talk about how our weekends were. Not once did we mention the almost kiss and my freak out. It was a pleasant evening, I really enjoy Edwards company. It's also not a bad thing that Edwards looks is easy on the eyes. We decide to watch a movie after dinner and get settled on the couch.

We started off at opposite ends of the couch but after the first five minutes I am feeling bold and move a little closer to Edward. I guess that set him off because he moved closer to me as well. I feel like I'm in high school but I don't care, I just want to be close to him. Soon enough we are right up against each other and Edward moves to put his arm around me. In this moment I am on cloud nine. I don't even watch the movie I just sit there and relish in his touch. All of a sudden I hear a loud commotion outside. We both look at each other and sit up. What the hell is that, it ruined my perfect moment with Edward! It better not be a damn cat! We hear it again and then I hear it.

"EDWARD! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! EDWARD!" bang, bang, bang. It's a chicks voice and I pray to whoever will listen to me it isn't the one person I'm pretty sure it is.

Edward quickly gets off the touch and runs to the door, he looks at me and shrugs his shoulders and steps out. I get up as well and follow him out. As I am stepping out, I see Edward is already walking to his apartment.

"Tanya? Is that you?" I hear Edward say, but I can't tell what his emotions are in his voice.

**A cliffie...i know right. what the hell! But Bella hasnt had much luck in her life, so who is to say that is going to change once Edward walks into it. What did you all think? I love all reviews and I really hope I didnt disappoint in this one. Again if there is a beta out there that would like to help me out i would greatly appreciate it! Thank you ! Happy mothers day to all you wonderful mommies out there!**


	12. Ch 12 Tanya's Back

**Hi All! I am sorry for the delay, I am hoping to get updates out sooner and am pretty sure this story will end at about 20 chapters. not one of those long stories, short and sweet. I also believe in HEA so yeah. enjoy! oh yes someone said they couldnt find ch. 12, well i had an update note up as ch. 11 and when i did the actual ch. 11 it sent out as ch. 12...so ch. 12 was really ch. 11. so it wasnt a glitch. ch. 11 is up and this is ch. 12!**

**I don't own twilight at all, sucks for me.**

_"EDWARD! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! EDWARD!" bang, bang, bang. It's a chicks voice and I pray to whoever will listen to me it isn't the one person I'm pretty sure it is._

_Edward quickly gets off the touch and runs to the door, he looks at me and shrugs his shoulders and steps out. I get up as well and follow him out. As I am stepping out, I see Edward is already walking to his apartment._

_"Tanya? Is that you?" I hear Edward say, but I can't tell what his emotions are in his voice._

Tanya! What the fuck! Can I get a little break here? I speed up to get a better view and yep, there she is in all her blondness glory. Wearing a non-existent skirt and a pink top with her boobs hanging out. Seriously it's freezing out, what is wrong with her? I sneak a glance at Edward and he is just standing out in the garden are in front of our apartments just glaring at her.

"Oh Eddie! I've missed you so much!" Tanya screams as she runs with open arms to Edward.

Edward stiffens as Tanya's body meets his; the look on his face is emotionless to say the least. Well I guess that is a good sign. I'm standing a few feet behind them, I shouldn't even be here, but damn it this chick ruined my nice moment with Edward! I should be able to give her some death glares! Just as I am thinking that Tanya sees me behind Edward.

"What is she doing here?" Tanya screamed.

"Tanya calm down, what are you doing here? You and me, we are done? I thought I made that very clear a few months ago." Edward stated coldly.

"I know we did, but I just have missed you so much. I can't live without you Eddie, please take me back. I need you." Tanya cried.

"You don't miss me, I'm not stupid Tanya. What kind of trouble are you in?"

Tanya looked down at her feet and then back up at Edward and then back at me.

"You never answered my question, what is that fat whore doing here?" Tanya says as she points to me with her ugly manicured fake nails.

Fat whore, I'm not a whore! What the hell? Think of something more original ms. Bitch.

"Seriously Tanya, don't test my patience. You interpreted a very nice evening I was spending with Bella, you owe her an apology."

"I don't owe her anything! I leave and she pounces on you! How could you want to be with her when you could have me?"

Why am I even in this conversation? I'm slowing backing myself out of this equation and as I am about to make a run for it to my apartment Edward turns to me.

"Bella, please don't leave." Edward pleaded.

How could I not listen to him when his voice is so hypnotizing? So I stop and turn around slowly and continue my glare at Tanya.

"For your information Tanya, Bella did not pounce on me when you left. I care about Bella a lot. I don't care for you Tanya and I haven't for a long time now. So please I just need you to leave me alone."

He cares for me a lot? Wow. I am stunned right now.

"Please Edward I have no where to go! I am broke! There are no modeling jobs out there for me anymore, I have nothing!" Tanya cried.

"Go back to Alaska and be with your family Tanya, I can't help you anymore. I don't want to help you anymore. I hate being this cruel but you leave me no choice."

Tanya starts crying but it doesn't waver Edward. Whoohoo! Not that she's crying, but that Edward is standing his ground with this chick. Ok and maybe a little whoohoo that she is crying. She has been nothing but mean to me. Karma is a bitch Ms. Bitch!

"Can I just stay the night with you?"

Say what? That's a lot of nerve she has!

"No, I'll take you to a hotel" There ya go Eddie.

"Please I can't stay at one of those po-dunk places! Just one night Eddie I promise I wont do anything" Tanya says with an evil smile pointed towards me.

"Fine." What!

"Ill just spend the night with Bella." Oh my. Oh my. I think I am going to start hyperventilating right here in the garden. No I cant do that in front of Tanya so instead I just hold my head up high and put a big huge smile on my face and point it right towards Tanya. Ha take that! Edward is going to spend the night with me!

Edward starts off to his apartment, Tanya does not look happy and stomps off after him.

"Bella, I'm just going to grab some stuff and then I'll head over." Edward says to me.

"uh huh…ok." I spit out. I run home and shut the door real quick. Let the hyperventilating commence. Shit, he wants to spend the night. What do I do? Do we sleep in the same bed? No we haven't even kissed yet, a few cuddling sessions does not warrant us to sleep in the same bed. Wait we are grown ups. Crap I don't have any nice pajamas! Shit, shit, shit! He can sleep on the couch. Yeah on the couch, I'll get it ready while I wait for him. I am picking myself up off the floor when there is a knock on the door. Well damn that was quick. I open it and there Edward is with a back pack. I smile and let him in.

"I'm so sorry about that Bella, I really thought I was done with her when I sent her away all those months ago. I hope I didn't upset you when I said I would spend the night at your house, I didn't even think and it just came out of my mouth. I can go to a hotel if you want, I shouldn't have even said that. Ugh…I just cant seem to do anything right!" Edward ranted.

"No, no don't be silly, its fine. No need to spend money when I have a comfy couch right here. I don't mind about Tanya." I lied.

"I do! I can believe she said those things about you! Anyway, she will be gone tomorrow, first thing I am taking her to the airport and getting her on the next flight to Alaska." He said with finality in his tone.

Thank the good lord! I just stand there awkwardly looking at him and he does the same.

"So, did you want to finish the movie or do you want to go to sleep?" I ask because well I have no idea what to do here.

Edward doesn't say anything just stands there starring at me with this determined look on his face. Now I am just feeling really self conscience so I go to turn around and head to the kitchen because I can't stand there having him stare at me any more.

"Bella" he says.

I turn around and just like that Edward right in front of me grabbing my face in his hands.

"I've wanted to do this since the first time I saw you" and then he does it.

Edward's lips are on mine. I am so caught off guard I am just standing there stiff as a board. He started off with little pecks and then harder, more fevered kisses, I can't help but get into it. His lips are so soft, and his taste is like nothing else I have experienced. I wrap my hands around his neck and urge him on to continue. I need him to take full control because I am so lost when it comes to this. Edward does not disappoint, his hands are in my hair pushing my head further into his to deepen the kiss. I want to die right now, if I could die and go to heaven it better feel and be as good as this kiss right now. My hands are lost in his hair, ugh I haven't wanted to touch his hair for so long, the kiss starts to get even more heated when I feel Edwards tongue sweep across my bottom lip, I cant help but part them for him and then I feel his tongue on mine, heaven! Can someone taste this good? I mean we are swapping spit for goodness sake. I always thought it was disgusting when I saw people going at it but now I get it. I can't get enough. I can't seem to get my body close enough to Edwards and then I feel his hands on my backside pulling me up against his. Oh my, that feels good. Then I feel it, the bulge in his nether regions. I panic and pull away. We are both panting and staring at each other with big smiles on our faces.

What do you say after that fuck hot kiss?

"So you want to finish that movie?" Edward broke the silence and then started to get comfy on the couch opening his arms waiting for me. I smile and jump on the couch and snuggle up to him. We start the movie and get situated. I look up at Edward and he is looking down at me. I have a feeling we won't be watching this movie at all tonight.

**Well its about damn time those two get some kissing in! Leave me some love! please :)**


	13. Ch 13 flowers, a way to a girls heart

**Hello all! sorry for the long wait, i have been thinking of this story a lot and where i want these two to go and i have so many different things going on in my head i dont know where i want them to go. sooooo i wanted to get this out to you all. The bella in this story is kinda confusing, she has so many things going on in her head, its almost a hinderance to her b/c most of her life her glass has been half empty so her thoughts are always so pessimistic. so i am sorry if it confuses you. it confuses me and i write it haha. enjoy!**

**p.s. i dont own twilight. that would be SM! **

That had to be one of the best nights of my life. Well really the best night of my life. The way his lips moved with mine was perfection. The way he held me felt like home, it just felt like it was meant to be.

I'm so warm and cuddly right now. I don't want to open my eyes. I feel something shift underneath me. I open one eye and realize I am still in my living room, I turn my head around and I am lying on top of Edward. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Its 8:30! I jump up and start freaking out; I had to be at work like now, only over 3 hours ago! Fuck!

"Edward!"

No response.

"Edward! Wake up! I have to go!"

"Five more minutes, I promise I'll get up" and with that Edward just rolls over on the couch.

Seriously.

Damn, ok well I cant wait around for him I have to go, I run to my bedroom discarding clothes as I go, good thing I showered yesterday. I quickly grab my ugly khakis and a blue button up shirt, throw my hair in a ponytail and brush my teeth, all in 5 minutes. I am running out into the living room putting my shoes on. Not a good idea when you are me and sure enough I trip and land flat on my face. That hurt.

I just lay there for a minute to compose myself and hope Edward is still asleep on the couch.

"Bella? Are you ok?" Edward asks as he is helping me up.

"Yeah I'm fine, a little embarrassed but yeah I'm fine." I look up at him and I can feel my face growing hot.

He just looks at me and smiles holding in his laughter.

"Its ok, you can laugh if you'd like I'm used to it. Hell you should be used to me falling by now!"

"I am I just don't like seeing you get hurt."

Aw why is he so perfect?

"I have to get to work I am so late! Just let yourself out, have a nice day!" and I am running out the door.

"Wait Bella!" I turn around and Edward is running out the door, he grabs me and gives me a kiss good bye.

Well that was nice.

"I'm taking today off to go to the airport so…. you want to have dinner with me tonight?"

I'm just standing there like an idiot with my mouth wide-open catching flies.

Are we like a couple now? Does one dinner and a make out session constitute as couplism? Is couplism even a word?

"If your busy then that's fine" I guess he takes me being a silent as a no.

"Dinner sounds great, I'll see you later?" why did that come out as a question. I feel like such a dork. I need to leave.

"Have a nice day at work!" he yells as I am running down to my car.

I called work once I got in and they were fine, no need to panic like I did. I have a good staff and the baker is awesome so he let the opening cashier in and she got it all ready for me. Angela, I love that girl.

So I take my time getting to work and think about last night. It was pure heaven. I think I am falling in love with him. Is that even possible? I have never been in love; I have never had a boyfriend. I have only been with intimate with one man. Oh no what if he wants to sleep with me? I am going to make a fool of myself. What if he sleeps with me and compares me to that fake blond bitch? With that thought my perfect evening is tainted with the thoughts of us going further and me totally fucking it up. I have to talk to Rose and Alice; they are good in that department. Always talk about it non-stop. Maybe they can give me pointers. Usually I just stay silent and not listen to what they are saying but now I think should have paid attention! Maybe I am jumping the gun, what if he doesn't even want a relationship with me. I mean he did just get out of a long one recently. What if he wants to play the field? No I don't want him to play the field. I want to be the only one in that field. I am so confused.

I finally get to work and push my thoughts of Edward to the side and focus on work. Lunch rush was ridiculous. I am in the office when Angela comes in.

"Um Bella? There is someone outside asking for you." She says with a big smile on her face.

Uh ok. Who would be here to see me?

I walk out and its Edward, I get these warm tingles all over my body when I see him. He has his sexy grin on and I just want to jump him right here in the lobby. No experience be damned!

"Hi Bella, I had to stop by the office so I thought I would come by and see you." He says with his head ducked like he's shy or something.

"Hi" that's all I can say. This man just makes me go so dumb when he is around.

"Here" he shoves a bouquet of flowers in my face.

"I wasn't sure what flowers were your favorite, so when I saw these I thought of you."

They are beautiful, I am not up on my flower knowledge because well I never get them, but these are beautiful. They are all different colors, burnt orange, hot pink, dark red, oo there are some dark purple ones in there too. So pretty.

"Thank you" that's all I can say, I shove my face in the flowers and take in their scent, I'm trying to hide the blush on my face, I hate how my face gets red with every emotion I have.

"Well, I should get going my dad is expecting me. I'll see you tonight? Ill pick you up at 7." He says with a big smile on his face.

I just nod and watch in awe as he leaves.

I turn around to go in back and put these in some water, I'll have to leave them here while I go to the gym later. Wow my first flowers I have ever received. I kind of like it. Never thought I would be into getting things but this is so nice. Maybe I should take a picture so I can always remember it. Is that corny? I feel like I am a teenager again and I love it!

"Wow Bella, he has it bad for you." I hear Angela say as she comes up behind me.

"No he doesn't, he is just very nice." I think.

"Umm did you not see the way he was looking at you? You both looked like love sick teenagers in the lobby." She says with a chuckle.

Love sick?

"You think?" I ask.

"Yes I think, you both have it bad, so have you hit that yet?"

"Hit that? Angela what are you 15?" I can't help but chuckle even though the idea of hitting that is scary as hell.

"You know what I mean."

"Angela, that's personal."

"I'm sorry boss, well have fun with him tonight! Tell me all about it tomorrow! I'm done with stocking, mind if I leave ten minutes early?"

"Yeah no problem, have a nice night" I don't even bother checking her work because I am too busy thinking about what will happen tonight. The rest of the day went by extremely slow. The gym was agonizing pain. Jacob talked my ear off about how his girlfriend still isn't talking to him. I just tune him out and concentrate on my work out. It's a nice escape for a bit, my brain is tired from constantly thinking about Edward and how I am going to make a fool of myself. I wish I were one of those people that didn't think that much. Just did and said the first thing that came to mind. I hate how I constantly have to think about what I am going to say and do, its tiring. Then the more I think the more I panic, and I work myself up and ruin things.

I'm finally home and jump in the shower. Its so relaxing, I spent more time in there then I wanted. I don't really have a big selection of clothes to choose from so I pick out some slacks and a sweater. I promised myself that when I lose a total of fifty pounds I would treat myself to a new wardrobe. So until then I will have to suck it up and wear what I have, and hope it looks nice enough to stand next to Edward. Its 6:30, I am nervous as all hell. I just sit on the couch starring into space. I don't know why I am acting like this. I guess because it's all new to me, also because I think I am falling hard for this man. So many thoughts going through my mind and then there is a knock on the door.

I get up robotically and reach for the handle. Here goes nothing.

**so what do you all think? reviews welcomed and loved they make my day! next chapter will be their first official date! i cant wait! until then...**


	14. Ch 14 quiet days and mac and cheese

**Hi All! i love the reviews you all leave me! JoJo good for you getting to the gym! pm me is you need any motivation! i am doing the same thing, working out more changing my diet, the whole bella thing. down 20 lbs so far! whoohoo! i hope you all enjoy this chapter. i have a fantastic new beta Neliz, so i would just like to thank her for all the help in this chapter! Enjoy **

I opened the door and there stood Edward, looking like something out of a romance novel. I took one look at him and my brain turned into mush. He was wearing dark wash jeans with gray v-neck sweater that hugged every single muscle on his god given body. His hair, well I didn't think he could even do anything with it but that's okay, because I was hoping my hands would be tangled up in that glorious mess tonight. See what I mean by my brain turning into mush. Just two minutes ago I was a doubting, over thinking mess, now I just wanted to pounce on him.

I stepped out cautiously so I wouldn't fall again, like this morning. My jaw still hurts like hell from my attempt at eating the floor.

"Good evening, Bella," Edward greeted me.

_Swoon._

"Hi," I whispered, unable to come up with something more to say.

_Really that's all you can say, Swan?_

"You look very beautiful tonight," Edward said as I locked my front door.

My heart stuttered a little and my face began to burn. I thanked the good lord above that I was not looking at him right then. I was sure I would've died of embarrassment.

"Well, thank you. You look quite dapper yourself, I might add," I responded, looking up at him through my lashes**. **

_Dapper? Good evening? Really, where the hell were we in the early 1900's?_

We turned and headed out towards Edward's car. I could feel Edward's hand on the small of my back. Did it make me weird to want to glue his hand there forever? Yeah… that did sound kind of sick.

The car ride went better than I thought it would. He opened the door for me, and waited for me to get situated. No one had ever done that for me before. Who said chivalry was dead? On the way to the restaurant we chatted about our day.

We arrived about fifteen minutes later to a little ma and pop's place. In Forks, the places of eatery were limited. I have been here before though, but I always ate alone, like a loser. Now, all that was thrown out the window because I was here with Edward!

He pulled my chair out for me. I felt like jumping up and down and shout at the world that I was in love. Wait did I just say love? All because he pulled my chair out for me and opened my car door? I might have to ponder that thought later. Just in case I go and blab it to Edward**.**

_Now that would be embarrassing. _

Once we were seated, our drink order taken, Edward wasted no time in starting a conversation.

"So, I drove Tanya to the airport this morning. I made sure she got on the plane and I watched it fly away." He said with a grin on his face, he was proud of himself.

I just smiled back at him.

"I'm so sorry for the things she said last night, Bella. She should've never called you those things." It was sweet of him to worry about it, but I honestly had completely forgotten about it.

"It was really not a problem, Edward. I have been called worse in my twenty-seven years of existence. What Tanya said or did last night really hasn't even crossed my mind today." That was because I was too busy thinking of you all day.

"I will be honest though, I am happy to see her gone and I hope she stays away."

"So do I Bella, you have no idea how much I want her to stay away," Edward said. That made me feel a ton better, he was seriously done with her.

After that Edward told me more about his relationship with Tanya. They met on the east coast while he was attending school. She was a "want to be" model. They dated for a while. Later in the relationship, they decided to move to California so Tanya could "model" and then Edward was given the opportunity to work in a fantastic hospital. He made it very clear to me that after the first year of their relationship everything was more about convenience than anything else.

I didn't ask him to elaborate, that was just something I didn't want to know. He moved back to Forks because he missed his family and wanted to somewhat settle down. He was also hoping that Tanya would break things off, but she stuck with it, until he had just had enough and sent her packing.

_Halleluiah!_

I was happy he shared those things with me. How many times had my days been consumed with thoughts of Edward wanting someone that looked or acted like Tanya? One too many to count, and in the end it turned out he really wasn't that into her.

Then the inevitable happened.

"So Bella, what about you, do you have any crazy ex's I need to worry about?" he asked with a chuckle.

Okay, so now I was confused. I didn't come out and ask him about his past relationships. Was this something you would talk about on a real first date? What do I say? "Yeah, no crazy ex's here! Actually, you don't even have to worry about anything of that matter. Why? Because I've always had been a shy hermit." Did he not want us to continue with whatever it is we had? You didn't ask about crazy exes if you didn't want to be with the person right? Ugh, I wish Alice was here!

"Yeah…um no, you don't have to worry about that. So tell me about your parents." With that, the crazy ex conversation was safely closed.

"My parents? They are great. Well, you already know I work with my dad. He's getting older and would like to retire sooner than later. Although, I think that was my mom's doing more than it was his. I look up to my dad. He taught me everything I know. Seeing him in his profession, the dedication he has for it, and the compassion he has for the people he treats, made me want to follow in his footsteps." He was smiling as he was speaking, which made my heart flutter.

"My mom, she's wonderful. Very warm, kind and just a great woman. She's always there for you when you need her. She did a lot of volunteering as I grew up. So, taking care of her volunteering and me were her first priority. Currently, she has wanted to travel more so that's why she wants my dad to retire. I know you'll love her when you meet her, and vice versa."

Wow, he wants me to meet his parents _already_?

"What about your parents? I don't think you have ever told me about them." Oh, here we go again, now I _have_ to talk about them.

"Well, my dad is a cop and my mom is currently unemployed. They aren't together any more. The divorced when I was younger. They live in Seattle, that's actually where Alice, Rose and I grew up. We moved here shortly after we were done with school." That was easy enough and I switched it around to talk about us girls moving to Forks.

_Good job, Bella._

"What made you choose Forks? I know it's not the most glamorous part of Washington State." He chuckled. Ugh how I love that laugh.

That got me started on how the girls and I took a road trip to "find ourselves", we stumbled upon Forks and decided to stay. It was a small town and completely different from the streets of Seattle. Don't get me wrong I loved Seattle, but it was nice living in a small town.

"Shortly after we got here Rose and Alice found their soul mates and we all kind of just settled." I exhaled loudly after I got that one out.

"So you didn't find your soul mate?" Edward hinted.

"I don't believe in that stuff," After I said that, Edwards face kind of fell. I had to remedy that right away.

"But I am starting to think otherwise," Was that a good enough hint for him or was it too much?

He just smiled and went about eating his food. After that we talked more about our favorite things. He asked me question after question about little insignificant things. It was nice. I have never had a conversation like this with anyone. No one had ever wanted to know what my favorite color was, or my car, or even flower. It was nice to finally have some interested in all those little mundane things.

Even thought I thought my answers were kind of boring, Edward listened and looked curious as to what each answer would be. It was fun to learn that his favorite kind of food was macaroni and cheese –not the home made one- the kind from a box.

Also, he liked to have one day a week in which he could just relax and read in peace. He didn't seem to be the type to rush, rush, rush; he seemed more of the lay back and enjoyed the scenery type.

We sat in our booth for two and a half hours. And yes I did label it _our_ booth. They should make a plaque for that shit. We talked about anything and everything. The wait staff was starting to shoot daggers our way so we decided to call it a night. Plus, the both of us had to get up early in the morning.

The car ride home was silent. But it was a comfortable silence. We didn't feel the need to fill the time with useless conversation. He walked me to my door like the gentleman he was and held my hand the entire time. I was in heaven. Our entwined hands felt like they were made for each other, fitting perfectly in place.

Once we got to my door, we just stood there, starting at each other. I hoped he would kiss me. I mean he kissed me goodbye this morning, he should kiss me goodnight. It was only the right thing to do, was I wrong?

"I had a very nice evening tonight, Edward. Thank you." I said with as much sincerity as I could muster. I didn't want to sound like some schoolgirl that was totally in love him. There we go again with the love word! Two kisses, a night of cuddling and one date does not constitute as love!

"So did I. Thank you for coming with me and answering all my questions," He said with that smirk. It was the kind of smirk that would make me do anything he asked for.

Again, we were just standing there looking at each other.

_Ah, screw it_.

I leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, gave him a smile and turned to unlock my door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Edward. Sweet dreams."

Hell, I knew I'd be having sweet dreams, well I didn't know if you could call them sweet. I was confident he will be in tomorrow for coffee. And I was sure we'll be having dinner again tomorrow night. Suddenly, I loved this newfound confidence. I knew once I shut that door though, my stupid brain won't shut up and I'll over analyze every single little detail. But for now, I was happy being on cloud nine.

I sneaked a peek at Edward and saw that he was smiling.

"Sweet dreams, Bella," Edward said as he walked backwards off my porch.

Yeah, one thing for sure I knew. I was falling in love with Edward Cullen and my life would never be the same again.

**so b and e seem to be getting a little further along in their relationship! yay! i wonder what next chapter will bring! leave me some love or hate which ever you prefer. both are welcome. have a great weekend everyone!**


	15. Ch 15 No roaming hands

**Hello everyone! i just wanted to start off and say thank you for all the wonderful reviews you send me, thank you for adding me to your alerts and favorites. it makes my day whenever i read them. i may not be able to acknowledge them all but i am truely happy people are enjoying this story and relating to it! so thank you very much! this chapter was just to show how bella and edward are getting closer to each other. **

**I want to say a major major thank you to my beta Neliz! she is awesome! **

**So did anyone see Eclipse? awesomeness i have to say cant wait to see it again.**

**I dont own twilight...lame but SM does so yay! **

**Enjoy!**

This past week has been one of the best weeks of my life. The day after our date, Edward came over for dinner. We hung out and watched some TV. I had decided to make him macaroni and cheese. He was so happy. It was as if he was a little boy on Christmas morning. It was just from a box, but I guessed it was more of the thought that counted.

We talked a lot, did some kissing but that was about it. There were no roaming hands, nothing but kissing. Which in all honesty was fine, Edward was a gentleman. I have never come across a man like him before. I didn't want to rush what we had. I already doubted myself when it came to relationships and life in general. With Edward, I didn't know what it was, but things just seemed to click.

I wanted to take things slow. I wanted things with us to last. I wanted them to really last, I could hear wedding bells and crying babies in the future. Something I never thought would happen to me. Was it weird I was already thinking about these things? I've only really _known_ Edward for just a few short weeks. I have known him for months, but we haven't really gotten to know each other until recently. Even though I want to take things slow, I am still having an itch to take it a little further.

My daily routine went like this: wake up, go to Yoga class, go to work, go to the gym and work out with Jacob, and then home to make dinner. Edward would show up shortly after I got home. We would eat, and watch TV or a movie. Well, we would attempt to watch TV, but really, we would just make out like horny teenagers. Lastly, he went home, much to my disappointment. It was wonderful, don't get me wrong. But I've been thinking about expanding our make out sessions, turn it into something _more_. We shall see what this weekend might bring us.

Today was Friday. I am exhausted. The gym was kicking my ass, really kicking my ass. Jake always pushed me to the limit and didn't even care if I cussed at him.

_Jerk.._.

I was in no mood to deal with him today. But I was bound and determined to get over my little plateau. I was ready to start losing again. The first twenty-five pounds were easy and then after that, it was slowly coming off. Now, I was hoping since I started working out with Jake that the pounds will come off just as easy. I was not doing this for a quick fix, but it was kind of a downer when you hit that plateau. Having sex with Edward would be a good form of exercise, right? Yes, I think it will. Oh, wait. Did I really want Edward to see all my flab and jiggly bits?

I was ripped away from my thoughts when I heard Jake's booming voice from across the gym.

_Damn him, ugh here we go again…_

"BELLS!" I could see Jake waving his arms in the air. I don't know where he gets off calling me Bells, like we are best friends or something, I guess I can give him a break since I am always cursing him during our workouts.

He started to jog towards me. He actually was a good-looking man, but my hatred for him took away from that fact. Plus, no one compared to Edward.

"Hey Bells! How are you today?"

"I'm just peachy, how are you today, Jake?"

"Fantastic! Vanessa is finally talking to me again. I just knew we were meant to be together, she couldn't stay away from me for long!" Jake winks as he tells me this. Yeah, buddy you weren't too obvious there.

I bet he got laid last night. Oh my gosh! Why did I have sex on the brain? I'm never thinking of sex!

"So, are congratulations in order? Are you still planning on asking her to marry you?" I asked, because really I was just being nosey.

"I sure am, but I don't want to just jump in there and do it, I want to plan something special." Well, ain't that sweet. All my "hatred" was replaced with admiration for this guy. I'll probably be changing my mind after our work out, though.

"How are things going in your complicated relationship?"

Huh? Oh yeah, my hot neighbor.

"Things are going really well, actually." I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"Oh yeah, going well. You aren't dating some old geezer in your complex are you?" Jacob chuckled.

"Old geezer, where do you get that assumption? What I cant get a young successful man to date?" now my anger level is rising!

"Geez Bella, I was just kidding around. I noticed a faint smell of mothballs in your complex the other day and noticed all the old people. You know if you are into that thing then that's ok, whatever floats your boat babe." Again with the damn chuckling!

"Well babe, I'll have you know that I am dating Edward Cullen, he's a doctor and he is fantastic! I don't know how old he is, but he cant be much older then me!" so there take that. Note to self, find out Edwards age. How did we not talk about that?

Jacob raised his hands in surrender.

"Ok, ok, I am sorry. This Edward must be something if you are getting so defensive. Lets get our work out started shall we?" Jacob stated quietly.

With my head filled with thoughts of Edward and the weekend coming up, I got through my workout without hating Jake so much.

After my work out, I raced home to start dinner. During our many conversations to get to know each other, Edward mentioned his love for Chinese food. In turn it was good because that happened to be one of my favorites as well. I had found an awesome recipe for orange chicken and I had decided to make a quick stir-fry to go with it. I was trying to make all our meals when we are together. I wanted to do this weight loss thing right, I couldn't afford to stray and start eating out non-stop. That would just hinder me. I had mentioned this to Edward and he was fine with it. He had gone so long without a home cooked meal that he just couldn't wait. His response made me want to attempt and look up more wonderful recipes to try out with him.

It was already seven o' clock and I was expecting Edward at any minute. I had kept the door open so he could just come in. I was at the counter, chopping broccoli and cauliflower, singing along to some Fergie song, when I felt two wonderful arms wrap around my torso. No words were spoken, just the feel of small kisses up and down my neck. I could smell the breathtaking aroma that was just Edward. It was like heaven. That was where I was right then. I got tingles wherever his lips touched me. That was normal, right?

"Mmm, something smells delicious." Edward's lips were still on my neck as he said this, so it was all mumbled. I couldn't help but giggle. He had turned me into a giggling schoolgirl, which really didn't bother me one bit.

"What's so funny?" Edward sounded kind of hurt. I turn around and wrapped my arms around his waist, stood up on my tippy toes, and gave him a quick kiss.

"You, you are too cute for your own good."

_Yep, there was that smile I wanted to see..._

"Well, you are too beautiful for your own good." Now my knees were weak. Good thing I was in-between the counter and Edward.

I couldn't help but smile, then I really looked at Edward and he looked so tired and worn out. He was fine yesterday. Today he had bags under his eyes that could go on for days. I cupped his face in my hands and ran my thumbs across his cheeks. He leaned his head in my hands and sighed.

"What's wrong? You look so tired, you seemed fine yesterday." Oh no, maybe hanging out with me every night was too much for him. I didn't want to cut back our time together.

_Shit…_

"I am exhausted. My dad is really pushing to retire, so all this week I have been taking on more of his patients and I am just beat. I have to cancel our date tomorrow. He wants me over early in the morning to go over more things and then at night he is being smoozed by someone I haven't even met. The family has to be there. So yeah, um…I'm really sorry Bella, but we have Sunday fun day blah blah blah. That means I have all day long to spend with you and night…." He lingered for a second there.

"With Emmett, Jasper, Rose and Alice." I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Oh, yeah that's true, but when I'm with you it doesn't seem like anyone else is there."

"Well, that would be because it's only just us two, ever." Which was totally true, but I didn't mind at all.

"Well, maybe I don't want to share you," Edward said with his note worthy smirk that turned me to mush.

"Is something burning?" Oh shit! My orange chicken!

"Ahhh! My orange chicken! Shit, shit, shit." I ran to the stove to turn it off and inspect it.

"It will be fine, I just won't scrape the bottom of the pan and we won't get the burnt pieces," I said with confidence.

"Crisis adverted, so you don't mind about tomorrow, do you?" He looks so cute when he gets all shy. Oh, did he really think I would mind?

"NO! Not at all. This is your career. You are helping your dad out, which I find extremely sexy." And with that statement, I started running my hands through his hair and got a sexy moan to escape his mouth. This new found flirting was fantastic. I should have done it years ago.

"So, let's eat some dinner and then we will call it a night, you need your rest." I didn't want our night to end early but I also didn't want Edward to wear himself down. I'll always be here.

"But I don't want to leave you early." Who knew Edward was such a whiner.

"Whiney Edward, not so sexy," I said with a wink.

Our night was nice, no more making out. Edward looked like he was going to fall asleep at the dinner table, so I shooed him home and promised him that we would have all day Sunday together, even though we had to share it with our friends. He was happy, I was happy. I couldn't wait.

I decided to call it a night as well and headed to bed. Except I didn't sleep well, I tossed and turned and had sex filled dreams with Edward all night long. Was this what sexual frustration was all about?

**Is Edward not cute? Bella may seem like she wants more sexually with edward but i'm sure all her body issues are going to come into play soon. next chapter is sunday fun day all day long! **

**i have decided i am going to do some EPOV like two excert chapters. what do you guys want when he first met bella, when tanya came back, the almost first kiss, sunday fun day...let me know! **

**Rec- Fourteen by crimsonmarie. this one was fabulous check it out!**

**Have a good one! Ta-TA!**


	16. Ch 16 No date Saturday

**I dont own anything twilight...sucks for me. **

**A million thank yous to everyone that has added me to their alert, favorites and reviewed! you all make my day when i open my inbox and see the alerts! you all rock! i hope you enjoy this chapter, the next one will be out sooner rather than later :)**

Saturday was my usual day of running errands and getting things done. I was a little bummed that Edward and I wouldn't be going out on our date. It would be our second real date out. That would make us more serious, right? Even though we have been spending every night together this past week, I was still so confused when it came to this relationship stuff.

Was I in love with him? Why didn't his hands seem to roam whenever we were making out? My hands didn't roam that much either, but I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. He said one thing, but then didn't exactly physically show it to me. I was confused and frustrated. Maybe he just needed time; he was in a long relationship that he just got out of a few months ago. Who knew! But I was going to give him another week and then…hell, who knew. I would probably chicken out and not mention the whole 'no touching' thing.

I got my cleaning and laundry done. Went out and bought groceries. Now, what was I supposed to do? I haven't heard from Edward all day but I really didn't expect to. He was with his family. I wondered who would be smoozing them tonight. Will he be all dressed up? I have never really seen him dressed up, dressed up. Just what he wore to work and he looks delicious in that. I bet he looks scrumptious when he gets all dolled up. _Yum!_ I needed to stop thinking of him.

"I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT…"

And that would be Alice's ring tone. I didn't understand why my friends picked the songs they did.

"I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT…" Ok, ok, I'm coming.

"Hello Alice, how are you doing today?" That would tickle her fancy, I usually grumbled when I answered the phone.

"Why Ms. Bella, you sound chipper this afternoon!" Where did Alice get her cheerfulness from?

"I'm actually having a good week, what's up?"

"Well, I was thinking I haven't hung out with you all week long. We need to go out and get some things for the baby shower that we still have yet to set a date for. So, I was thinking I could pick you up tomorrow morning and then I'll take you over to Roses' house for fun day."

_Hmm…_

Well, Edward and I never made any set plans for the morning. Just fun day at Rose and Em's, and then the night, so yeah, why not?

"Sure, what time? Please don't make it so early. I only get two days a week where I get to sleep in!"

"Bella, I only get to see you once a week! How does nine o' clock sound? That isn't too early for you now, is it?"

"I guess not, nine is good. Breakfast is on me!"

"Oh goodie, then we can hammer out all the details for the party!"

"Like you haven't already done that Alice, I know you."

"Yeah, I have but I thought you would like to put your two cents in. Ok, I'll see you tomorrow at nine! You better be awake and ready to go!"

"I will, I will. Tell Jazz I said howdy."

"Will do, love you Bella b!"

"Love you too Ali."

Well, tomorrow was shaping out to be a good day. Not only would I get to spend some alone time with Alice, I could fill her in on everything that was Edward and I. And that meant we wouldn't have Jazz, Emmett, and Edward breathing down our backs. Then I get to spend the rest of the day and night with Edward!

For rest of the day, I lounged around and read. I haven't done that since Edward and I started hanging out. I missed my books, I missed sitting out on my patio. I thought writing will actually be good tonight. Maybe I could write a nice short story of how Edward and I met. That would be a good start.

I got myself comfortable and let all the words in my head flow out through my hands onto my laptop. I must have gotten really into it because the next think I knew it was already seven p.m.

I heard my phone buzz next to me. That was odd, I never got text messages. Rose and Alice like to actually talk on the phone, not text. I picked it up and noticed it was from Edward. A freaking text message made my heart flutter. I had it bad for this man.

I opened it up all school girl giddy.

_**Whatcha doin? xEdward**_

Gah, I missed him!

_**Not much just sitting here writing. How's the smoozing going? xBella**_

I just sat there starring at my phone waiting for it to go off. One minute later it does. Oh, I really liked this texting thing. I should do it more often.

_**Rather boring, I would rather be out on our date **__**the smoozers are actually kind of scary. I will fill you in on that tomorrow. What are you writing? I didn't know you wrote? xEdward**_

Oh crap, no one knew I loved to write, it was my little secret and I just let it out.

_Oh, well._

_**Oh it's just a hobby of mine; I don't actually get to write that often anymore. xBella**_

What else should I say to him?

_**Well I would like to read it some time. I better go. The smoozers are talking my ear off. Can I stop by when I get home to say goodnight? ;) xEdward**_

Did he just wink at me? How cute was he? Uh yeah, you could stop by tonight!

_**Of course you can, I can't wait. See you later xBella**_

Swoon. I couldn't wait to see him all dressed up.

Three hours and a buddle of nerves later, there was a knock at my door. It was Edward! I couldn't help but show my excitement, as I ran to the door and yanked it open.

"Hi," I said, out of breath. Because that was the weirdo I was.

"Hi." He looked nervous. Why did he always look so nervous around me?

I opened the screen door to let him in. I was in my pj's but could really care less at this point. As he stepped in, I took a good look at him. He was wearing black dress slacks with a white dress shirt tucked in and a black shiny skinny tie. Kill me now. Did he really have to wear a tie? _Such a turn on!_ All he needed was a pair of glasses on his head and I would ravish him right there and now. He was running his hand all through his hair and once again looked tired.

He looked at me, then looks down and back at me. What was he thinking?

He stepped forward and it all happened way too fast. His lips were on mine and all was forgotten.

My lips just melted into his. My hands and arms seemed to have a mind of their own, I had wrapped them around his neck and my fingers were massaging his head. I hear a moan and that just spurred me on. I started tugging on his hair and just like that it was over. Edward stepped back, panting, just as I was. Why did he do that? He always broke away just when things began getting too heated.

"God Bella, you have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you today. It was all I kept thinking about." He shyly smiled at me.

"Do you want to spend the night tonight? Alice is coming over at nine tomorrow to pick me up. We are going to have breakfast and then shop for baby stuff. Maybe you could come with us, since I didn't get to see you all day today," I said all this in one breath.

_Holy shit!_

Did I really just ask him to spend the night? Oh my god, oh my god! His face looked like… I didn't even know how to describe it. He was still panting and he had look of look of disgust. Was that disgust? No, it couldn't be. He had already slept on my couch once. Was this too soon? My stupid mouth and my brain apparently couldn't communicate. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Um, I…uh, don't know about that, Bella." And there it was…the rejection.

_Stupid, stupid Bella..._

"Oh shit, I'm sorry Edward. I don't know where that came from. Sometimes I just don't think before I speak." And I chuckled so it didn't seem like such a big deal.

"No, Bella. Its okay, I just don't think –"And I couldn't listen to him anymore.

"It is okay, Edward. You're tired. You should go home and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow. Um, Alice will be taking me, so I'll see you over at Em's at noon, okay?" I couldn't believe I just ruined everything.

Edward just stood there looking at me with hesitation. But then turned around and headed towards the door. He stopped, turned around and gave me a quick kiss on the check, before stepping out.

"Sweet dreams, Bella. I'll see you tomorrow," he said dejectedly.

"Um yeah, sweet dreams, Edward." And with that I closed the door.

_What just happened? _

I slid down the door and landed on my butt. I just had an awesome kiss with a guy I was falling hard for. He said he wanted to kiss me all day long. And the first thing out of my mouth was 'want to spend the night?' What the hell?

The look on his face spoke volumes. I felt like a total idiot. That was why I didn't date. It was always so confusing and in the end I always end up making a fool out of myself. He didn't exactly say no. Hell, I didn't even let him respond, I just kicked him out.

What did he think of me, now? He probably thought I was wasting his time. All these thoughts and emotions were too much for me. I started to cry. That was all I did for the rest of the night. I cried myself to sleep and asked myself a million times, why was I such a damn spaz.

How was I going to fix this?

**ahhh what is bella doing? i know, i know she needs to wise up. i have a feeling things between edward and bella will be changing pretty soon! leave some love, or hate whichever you prefer. i have picked the two outtakes for epov but ya'll are gonna have to wait until the story is over. i'm sorry for the suspense :)**


	17. Ch 17 Rejection and desire

**holy crap! i got another chapter out waaaay sooner then later! that makes me happy. i hope this chapter makes you all happy! **

**Now time for my thank yous. i am so happy you all are enjoying this story as much as I am! thank you for your wonderful reviews, adding me to your faves and alerts! i wish i could write to each and every one of you but i dont get much computer time. **

**Thank you to my awesome beta Neliz! she rocks, and now enjoy the chapter!**

**oh and i dont own anything twilight...lame. **

What did I do last night? Those were the first thoughts that enter my mind as I was woken up by my stupid alarm. I felt like a fool. _A damn fool!_ Thank goodness I was spending some time with Alice this morning. She would most certainly put my stupid ass in check.

I was not going to continue doing these things. All my insecurities were going to kill me. So what if I made a fool out of myself with Edward last night. I could get over it. _I hoped_. No, I was sure going to try to get over it. If Edward didn't want to spend the night with me, or be with me for that matter, then so be it. I would live, right? Yeah, I would. Crap! Where the hell was Alice? I needed to get out of here.

There was a light pounding at the door.

_Well, speak of the devil_.

I ran to open the door and tripped on my way. _Fucking ay!_ I whipped the door open, to find Alice all bright eyed and bushy-tailed holding an orange rose.

_Well, that was nice of her. I guessed. _

"Hey Ally!" I said with a hint of confusion in my voice. Why did she bring me a flower?

"Hey Bella, this was tapped to your door with a note," Alice said with a big smile on her face.

Oh, was it from Edward?

I snatched them from her and ran inside gripping the flower and note in my hands trembling.

"What does it say? What does it say?" Alice screeched after me.

"I don't know, I haven't read it yet, calm down," I said breathing deeply. Did I really want to read this? What if it was another rejection? He could've written the words instead of giving me the face of rejection? Ugh. Fuck my life.

As I was pondering this, Alice interrupted me.

"You know that orange roses symbolize desire?" She looked at me like it should've been common sense for me to know that.

"No, I didn't know that. How do you know that?" the colors of flowers have meanings?

"It was something Jazz used to do when we were dating. He would give me all different kinds of colored flowers and explained each of their meanings to me. It was really romantic."

So did Edward desire me? I was sure he didn't even know the meaning of it. They were my favorite flower. But he didn't know that, did he?

I just gave Alice a look and tore the letter open.

_Dear Bella, _

_I'm sorry for how things turned out last night. I would really like to sit and talk to you at Em's today. Until then._

_Love, Edward_

Did he have to end it in love? Fuck my life even more! I was so damned confused.

_Desire... Love… Rejection… _

Rejection was in the forefront of my mind right then. I dropped the note on the counter and placed the flower in a cup of water. I grabbed Alice before she could even begin to ask questions and bolted through the door.

The drive to the diner was a tense one. I was clutching the steering wheel with all my might. Why did being in a relationship have to be so hard? Why did I have to make it so hard? I was sure normal people didn't act the way I acted. Alice stood quiet through the whole ride. She knew when something was up with me.

We found a booth and sat.

"Okay, so what's the deal? Was that from Edward or is something going on with that new trainer guy of yours?"

_Trainer_ _guy_? What? Oh! Jake.

"Who Jake? No, it was from Edward. God, Alice I was so stupid. I don't know what's wrong with me!" I was on the verge of tears.

"Is this about what we talked about the other night? When you went on that date with your trainer and Edward saw you?" Oh, I haven't filled her in. I've been too bliss out with Edward that I forgot to tell her.

"No, things…well, um…geez, okay. So, I cooked Edward dinner the night after my non-date with Jacob and told Edward about Jacob being my trainer. And Edward was fine with it. After that, we went out to dinner and got to know each other a little bit more. It was great, Alice. I was falling so hard for him. He came over every night after work and we would have dinner and hang out and make out a little and then he would go home. We were supposed to go on another date last night but he had to cancel because he was doing something with his parents. Anyways, so our week was great, right. And he's an awesome kisser but that's all we would do, he wouldn't go any further than that. Which might be fine, I mean, I want more. I just don't think I'm ready to go all the way with him. I don't think I'm ready for him to see me naked and then after last night I am sure he has no plans of ever seeing me naked," I said all this in one breath. I was ready to continue until Alice interrupted me.

"What? I'm confused. What does this have to do with him seeing you naked and making out?"

"I don't know! I'm a mess. I'm stupid. Last night, he came over to say goodnight to me and we had this awesome kiss. He was all like '_God Bella, I've wanted to do that to you all day'_ and then I'm all 'Why don't you spend the night?' Then he got this look of disgust on his face. That's when I, being the smart person that I am, laughed said I was just kidding and kicked his sexy butt out!" I cried out and then lowered my head to the table and banged it a few times.

"You are a mess, Bella. I'm sorry, but you are. What did the note say?"

"He just apologized for last night and said he wants to talk to me at Em's today."

"So, you haven't scared him off then. You two will be fine. Why did you ask him to spend the night if you aren't ready for him to see you naked yet?" Alice asked while doing her weird eyebrow lift.

"I have no idea. It just came out. All week I have been aching for him to have…I don't know, roaming hands? And they just don't roam. Whenever anything gets heated he breaks away and stops kissing me. I just wanted to spend more time with him. It was stupid. I didn't even think before I spoke. It wasn't even an idea in my head at all, until I saw him and then I wanted him, _badly_."

"I see." That was all she said.

_That's it!_

"Just talk to him today, Bella. Stop overanalyzing everything. Guys don't like that. You could scare him away. Just go with the flow. I'm sure he had a reason why he didn't want to spend the night. Maybe he stunk and had to shower, or maybe he has really bad case of morning breath and he didn't want you to smell it."

"He doesn't, he spent the night on my couch one night and we woke up and he was fine, perfect actually. He can just roll out of bed and be perfect looking."

"Just talk to him, Bella! You are acting like a crazy woman. Now, let's get on to more important things. Like Roses' baby shower!"

The conversation was done for the day. I couldn't help but feel sick about seeing Edward later. I was such a spaz and I hated it.

_I might as well just get it over with. _

We went shopping and got a few of the decorations for the party. Who knew there was so much baby stuff? It was already nearing noon, so we decided to call it a day and head over to Rose's.

The closer we got to Rose and Em's, the worse I felt. I just wanted Alice to pull over and let me run back to my place. But I had to face this thing with Edward. I'd just explain to him that I was a spaz. And that honestly he could either take it or leave it. I was really hoping he decided to take it.

We pulled into their driveway and I saw Edward's Volvo was already there.

"Oh, stop sulking, Bella! Suck it up, just go talk to him. Maybe you'll have roaming hands by the end of the night." Alice chuckled.

"Well, I'm glad you have some faith." I pouted.

"Stop being such a Debbie downer, and get in there." With that she shoved me through the door. Of course as she shoved me, I tripped on the steps going in. I was falling face first, so I braced myself for the fall. Out of nowhere two strong arms grabbed me and pulled me upright. I didn't have to look up to know it was Edward. I smiled shyly at him and mumbled thanks.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asked with concern written all over his beautiful face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You should be used to this by now," I said with my head down. I couldn't even look at him in the eyes, yet.

He grabbed my hand and gave me a quick once over.

"Come on. Let's go out back." Edward held onto my hand and led

Geez, I didn't think we would be talking about last night this fast.

_Crap._

Edward just kept walking, past Rose's back yard and into the woods. What the hell? Where was he taking me?

"Um, where are we going, Edward?"

"I just want some privacy, just a few more steps. I promise."

Finally, we reached a clearing. It was beautiful. I was not one for nature, mainly because my face met the pretty little ground way too much for my liking, but this was wonderful. There were wild flowers everywhere. The surrounding trees made a short canopy over the little meadow, so it was nicely shaded. The flowers were ranging in colors from purple to blue, from yellow to pink. You name it, it was there.

"Wow. This place is beautiful, Edward. How did you find it?"

"I got here early. I guess, I was hoping you would get here early, too. So, I wondered out here to think and stumbled across it. I thought it would be a nice place to take you."

He was still holding on to my hand but I wasn't going to complain. I liked how our hands fit together.

"I'm so sorry about last night Bella."

"It's okay. I'm just a spaz. I don't know what –"

"Wait. Let me finish please, Bella."

"Okay." That shut me up.

"Look, I really like you. I like you so much it kind of scares me. You kind of scare me. You are beautiful, caring and funny. I can't seem to get enough of you when I'm around you," Edward said this all at once and looked up at me through his eyelashes.

I just sat there stunned. This was not what I had imagined would've been said in this conversation.

"Why do I scare you?"

"You just seem so sure of yourself, like you know what you want. I can't read you, don't know what is going through your mind and it freaks me out."

Ha! He didn't know the eternal struggle I went through in my head every since I met him.

"I don't have a lot of experience dating women, you know I was with Tanya for years and you see how that turned out. I didn't have strong feelings for Tanya the way I do for you, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to screw things up with you."

I just looked at him, willing him to continue, because I was too stunned to answer him.

"I don't want to move too fast, come on to strong. I don't want to scare you away. Things are so busy with work, and then all I can think of is you. And then last night you asked me to spend the night and I don't know why I freaked like that."

"I wanted to spend the night, don't get me wrong. I don't want you to think I was rejecting you in any way. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for that yet. Does that sound stupid? I want to do things right with you. I want to get to know you better, treat you with respect. I feel like I have reverted back to being a seventeen year old hormonal teenager!"

Edward just looked at me with this cute puppy dog eyes. I couldn't help but fall in love him.

"So, yeah…I think I am done talking. I didn't make a fool of myself, did I?"

"Um, no. You didn't."

"So, what do we do from here? I don't want to keep freaking out when I'm around you."

"Well, I'm sure we can help each other out with that, because I freak out on a daily basis, when it comes to you."

"Really?" Edward asked, like he hasn't noticed!

"Yes really, all that you just said to me is kind of what I have been going through. Except with the relationship experience, I don't have any of that. So, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing when it comes to dating, especially dating you. I lose my train of thought when I'm around you. I forgot words, how to speak. I even forget how to form a complete sentence." I smiled up at him.

"Wow, so we can help each other out. Learn together." Edward gave me that hot smirk that made me go crazy in the first place.

We sat out in our meadow for another hour, just taking. I explained to him some of my insecurities. I couldn't really bring up the whole body image thing to him because that was a whole other conversation. By the looks of it, he didn't even seem to mind my extra flab. We promised each other to stop overanalyzing everything and just go with the flow from here on out.

We headed back to the house hand in hand and starring dreamily at each other. It was like a hallmark movie or something. I could've cared less what we looked like to other people. I was on cloud nine. That was until I head a familiar annoying booming voice.

"Hey Eddie! What are you –whoa…You and SWAN! Hey Rosie, are you seeing this

Rose came walking out and smacked Emmett in the back of the head.

"Shut up, you monkey!" Rose looked over at me and winked. I couldn't help but blush, and return her smile.

We came up just as Alice and Jasper came out. Alice squealed and jumped up and down clapping her hands. _Oh geez._ Edward just squeezed my hand and kissed my temple. He let go to go help Emmett with the grill.

Emmett just stood there dumbfounded.

"I can't believe you guys are bumping and no one told me!"

"Emmett shut up!" We all said at once.

For the rest of the day, I let go of my nagging insecurities and tried really hard to go with the flow. I really thought everything was going to turn out great, this time.

**so? what do you all think? you think they can stop having these spaz moments and get on with their relationship? i sure as hell hope so! more fun adventures to come with these two! stay tuned :)**


	18. Ch 18 Kitchen counters are fantastic

**hi everyone! thank you bunches for all the wonderful reviews! someone asked what bella's weight started out as. i had her at 205. thank you to my beta Neliz for all the help on this chapter! i hope you all enjoy it.**

**p.s. i dont own twilight.** **damn why cant i have book inspired dreams?**

It has been a month since our day of discovery as I'd like to call it in the meadow. It was the day I discovered that Edward has always had feelings for me, that he wasn't one of those guys that liked tall blond, skinny bimbos. He was attracted to me, the fat me. Fat Bella, who has been overweight her entire life. Who doubted herself constantly, had no confidence and tripped over her own two feet.

Edward said something just clicked in his head when he saw me run into the wall and go down. He said it was meant to be, he felt the need to protect me the instant he saw me fall to the ground. He couldn't stop thinking about me afterwards. Edward believed in soul mates, destiny and all that. I had always been a skeptic, but I was slowly coming around. Hell, I already knew I loved the man, he continued to keep me on my toes, constantly gave me compliments.

We still kept our usual schedule of hanging out every night. Yes, there have been some roaming hands, but when he said he wanted to take things slow with me and do things right, I didn't think we would be taking it this slow!

I was down ten more pounds. Jake still kicked my ass, I prayed and wished for Garrett to come home, but he won't be. His wife wanted to stay up in Alaska with her sisters and he must follow. Jake really wasn't bad. Hell, I have kicked my plateau in the ass and dropped the ten pounds. I was starting to get toned. Don't get me wrong, I was still pudgy. I still didn't feel comfortable with my clothes off, especially in front of Edward.

He didn't push me. He wanted to go slow. I was started thinking he _must _take a lot of cold showers, I knew I sure the hell did. The more I thought about the reasons I started this whole life change, the dumber I felt. Really, what had finally lit the fire under my ass was having met an attractive man. I should've done this a long time ago and for different reasons.

I felt wonderful. I could actually walk up and down the stairs and not get winded. I didn't sweat profusely while at work. I had widened my horizons when it came to food. I preferred home cooked means now to the fast food crap I always ate. It also helped that Edward was sitting at the table with me every night to enjoy a healthy home cooked meal with. His 'mmms' and 'ahhs' made it even more enjoyable. I didn't think of myself as a fat girl anymore. I was still not at my ideal weight, but I didn't think a number on a scale should be what made me feel better. It should be about how I felt and let me you tell you, I felt wonderful.

It was Sunday Fun Day. I was headed over to Rose's, alone. Edward had to go into the office for a couple of hours, since we spent the entire day together yesterday, hiking. I pulled in and of course – like always – Alice and Jasper had beaten me there.

I walked in and the boys were watching their pre-game interviews or whatever it was they talked about before a game started. Us girls, usually just hung out in the kitchen since it was too cold to sit outside for longer than a few minutes at a time.

Rose was standing by the sink talking about who knew what. Her hands were waving in the air and she was starting to get animated. I walked over to her and did my usual.

"Hello, my sweet little baby. How are you today? Your Auntie Bella loves you and can't wait for you to come out," I say all this while crotched down cupping Rose's ever expanding belly. Then I scratched it and sat down.

"Hello, Bella. Why don't we get that kind of greeting? I kinda feel left out," Alice said pouting a little.

"I'm sorry, Ali. How is my Ali bean today?" I said in a baby voice, and then reached up to ruffle her hair, which she absolutely hated.

"BELLA!" She hated when I did that.

"So, what were you ladies talking about before I came in?"

"Nothing, Rose was just telling me about Emmett. He keeps pestering her for sex."

I just raised my eyebrows. We all knew how sexually active the two of them were, it was not secret.

"I can't help it! I feel like a beached whale. You think I want to have sex? My back hurts all the time, my feet and hands are swollen. Sex is not on the top of my list of things to do!" Rose screeched again with her hands in the air.

Alrighty, I guessed her hormones were raging today. I couldn't wait to see what I would be like when I become pregnant.

_Wow, did I just think that?_

"Well, that makes two of us. School is stressing me out. I can't be bothering with having sex right now." I didn't expect that to come out of Alice's mouth. She and Jasper were just as bad as Rose and Emmett!

They both turned to look at me. What did I do?

"What?" I asked. Did they want me to complain that I didn't want to have sex? Because I kinda did want to, just you know, with all the lights off. Just so Edward wouldn't be able to see me.

"Are you and Edward bumping like rabbits now that you have become an _item_?" Ah, I see inquiring minds wanted to know the details.

"What's with you people and using the term 'bumping'? Is that what you kids call it now a day?" I said trying to get all this attention away from me and back to them.

"Why won't you talk to us, Bella? Is Edward good in bed?" Alice whined.

"Well, for your information," I stated, turning my head to see if the boys were listening. They weren't, they were too engrossed in their football.

"Edward wants to take things slow. And by slow, I mean like at snails speed." I looked over at the girls and their mouths were on the floor.

"What? He's a gentleman. He doesn't want to rush things. Plus, I don't think I'm comfortable with exposing myself to him just yet."

"What do you mean? You two are inseparable, that man is so in love with you, it's not even funny. Do you think he wouldn't want to see you naked and do all these wonderful things to you?" Alice questioned.

"_Love, _Alice? Seriously, we have only been officially together for what a month now, no one has talked about love. Plus, he is more experienced than me. I don't even know what I'm doing. I was with what's his name, like three times and it wasn't the best. You two have never been fat, you have gorgeous bodies. I'm flabby, jiggle, and have cellulite. Trust me when I say, it's not pretty."

"Oh Bella, you _are_ beautiful and Edwards sees that. Why can't you see that? He is so in love with you. I've seen the way he looks at you. Hell, every Sunday he can't stay away from you for longer than five minutes," Alice said. She had that look on her face, the one that told me she was coming up with one of her elaborate schemes. I was beginning to get worried.

"Oh my God! One minute man! I completely forgot about him!" Rose stated before she began to laugh her head off.

"Yeah, one minute man. See that's all the experience I have. What if I can't _please_ Edward? It's bad enough that I jiggle and wiggle like Jell-O but then to top it off with me not knowing that I'm doing. He's gonna be like "Okay, I think I made a mistake'," I cried out.

_There went my spaztastic thinking coming out to play!_

"You know what?" Alice screeched. Rose and I looked over at her. Yep, you could see the little light bulb flashing away about her head.

"I'm calling my connection in Port Angeles. We are going to the Spa ladies! Bella, it's about time you pamper yourself for losing all that weight and looking fantastic. Rose, you need to be pampered because you're the mama. Me, well I came up with the idea so we are going to the Spa! I have to call Lauren. She can get us in no matter what!" She ran out of the room, leavings us starring at an empty spot.

"Really, do we need to go to the Spa now, today? Edward isn't even here yet!" I whined. I was not a Spa kind of girl. Hot wax and I did not mix, at all. I had my eyebrows done once, they got red and I broke out from it. My eyebrows looked worse afterwards than they did before.

"Oh, stop your bitching. You have to look good for your man, Bells. Plus, you deserve it. I could also go for some pampering. My sciatic nerve has been a stupid bitch lately," Rose grumbled as she plopped down on the chair next to me.

"Okay, okay! We have appointments in two hours! Rose, you're getting a pregnancy massage and mani-pedis. Don't worry. They know what to do with prego ladies. Bella, you're getting waxed and don't look at me like that. You need it, sister. Also, I set you up with a Swedish massage afterwards and you're getting a haircut. Those split ends need to go. It won't be bad, it will be good. We'll have lunch and then….shopping for some pretty lingerie to seduce Eddie with!"

"Wait, lingerie? Where the hell did that come from?" I asked starting to panic.

"Well –with your new look –I just figured you would want some pretty lingerie to, you know, show off to Edward. You've worked so hard, you need to flaunt what you got! I'm sure Edward won't be moving at snail's speed with what I have in mind for you."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, Alice," I said a little louder than I wanted to.

"Ready for what?" Edward's velvety voice floated through the kitchen.

Oh, shit! Did he just hear the entire conversation? I must have had a pained look on my face, because Alice decided to step in.

"Well, Eddie, we are all going to the Spa today! Ms. Bella here is throwing a fit, but don't worry. She's going and she's going to have fun." Alice gave me a pointed glance.

"But, I just got here. How long will you be gone?" Edward asked with a sad look on his face.

"I know. I'm sorry, babe. It should only be a few hours. You know how Alice is." I gave Alice a pointed look right back.

"Oh, please! You get to see Bella all the time, Edward. We only get to see her once a week. I think you'll live," Rose said as she struggled to get out of the chair. Edward went over to help her up. I bet he would be a great husband and father.

_AHH! Where are these damn thoughts coming from?_

"I know that, but now I have no one to kiss during commercials." Again with the Edward pout. He was so damn sexy.

"Emmett's here, you'll be fine," Rose said in all seriousness.

We all kind of chuckled. Edward just looked sad and a little freaked out. I loved his facial expressions! Ugh!

"Alright love birds, you have five minutes to get your kiss on and then we're leaving. Get to it!" Just like that I loved Alice again.

Rose and Alice left the room so I was left with Edward, who had fire in his eyes. Ooh, I liked this look, I liked it a lot.

"Well, five minutes. I better make it worth it, huh?"

"I think so." I gulped.

Edward stalked over to me, making me backup until my back hit the kitchen counter.

"I missed you today," Edward said as he gently cupped my face in his hands.

I gulped again. Would I ever not be nervous around him?

"Mmm…I missed you, too. We should only be gone a few hours. Then you get to have me for the rest of the night." I couldn't wipe the smile on my face even if I wanted to.

"I guess I can live with that. So, now I have four and a half minutes to kiss you. Let's get started, shall me?" With that his lips were on mine, there was urgency in his kiss. He wasn't gentle like he usually was. It was such a turn on. I could've literally kissed this man for the rest of my life and not get tired of it. He was one talented man. I wondered if was talented in other aspects.

As his tongue explored my mouth, his hands roamed down my arms, and then he grabbed my waist. Could I just say I really loved this new side of Edward? Oh, OH! His hands were cupping my ass.

_Holy shit!_

Our kissing was getting harder now. I needed to remember to breathe through my nose. The intense kissing with him cupping my ass was making me forget how to breathe.

In one quick movement, Edward lifted me up and placed me on the kitchen counter. He moved to stand between my legs, not breaking the kiss at all. Oh my lord. Did he just lift me? I was so turned on. I moaned and grabbed his hair with a little more force than usual.

A low growl erupted from Edward and I couldn't help myself. I wrapped my legs around his waist, just so I could get closer to him. My lady bits were tingling and I wanted him right then and there. I didn't care about the jiggly and wiggly bits, just take me.

He broke the kiss and moved down to my neck, nibbling and leaving wet kisses along the way. It gave me a chance to breath but I wanted his mouth back on mine. I grabbed his hair and forced his lips back to mine, another growl escaped him, just as someone cleared their throat loudly.

What the fuck! Slowly, Edward stopped and gave me a few chaste kisses on the lips, before turning his head to see Alice standing in the doorway tapping her foot.

"Let's go, Bells. It's time to leave."

_Damn cock blocker…._

Edward turned back to me and gave me his signature crooked grin.

"I guess we will just have to pick up where we left off when you get back." He gave me another kiss and helped me off the counter. All I could do was gulp and nod at him.

I stood there for a minute to gather my bearings. I gave Edward a shy glance and started to walk off with Alice.

"Bye Baby!" Alice screamed as we walked out of the kitchen. I've obviously lost my voice from the fuck hot make-out session.

I couldn't aid in the conversation on the way to the Spa. All I thought about was Edward and the kitchen; him lifting me onto the counter. What a fucking turn on! If he could that, oh, maybe he could lift me up against a wall. Oh, the things going through my head today. Maybe it was a good thing we were getting lingerie today. Alice must have foreseen this. I was beginning to think our little 'taking things slow' was about to speed up and fast.

**soooooo? what do you all think? finally might be getting some! next chapter will be out soon. RL kicked my ass the past couple of weeks :( **


	19. Ch 19 Purple Fluffy Robe

**wow! this is the longest i have chapter i have written by far! Thank you to everyone for your wonderful reviews! they make my day and i am glad you all are enjoying this story. a few more chapters. i am thinking maybe 3 but dont hold me to that...there might be more there might be less. i shall see. thank you to my awesome beta for helping me out! **

**205 pounds is roughly 93kg! i think like the kg number better...:)**

**i dont own anything twilight but this spastic Bella is all mine...**

**and now for ch. 19 purple fluffy robe...Enjoy!**

Seriously, how did Alice think getting a Brazilian wax was a day of relaxation? Okay, the eyebrows weren't so bad this time around. I guessed going to a hoity toity salon instead of a quick nail place really did make a difference. At least, I didn't look like a freak with red eyebrows and bumps all over them.

The only thing that got me through the torture was thinking about Edward and the way he had lifted me up on the kitchen counter. That would forever be embedded in my mind until the day I die.

Right now, I was headed to our mani-pedi. Rose was already in her chair with her feet soaking in the hot bubbly water. She looked cozy yet, not so comfortable at the same time. She looked like she was ready to pop, but wouldn't be for a couple more months.

_Poor thing…_

I kept wondering what I would look like if I were pregnant. Some women have that beautiful glow about them and pregnancy really suits them. Others just looked miserable and uncomfortable. I just hoped I wouldn't look like one of those pregnant women. Maybe it was seeing Rose pregnant that had these thoughts filtering through my mind, or maybe it was because I had finally realized I was in love with Edward and wanted to have a future with him.

I hadn't really thought of what a future with Edward would entail, I didn't even know if he loved me back. I knew Alice and Rose said he did, but I wouldn't believe it until I heard it straight from his beautiful perfect lips.

I plopped down in the chair, placed my feet in the hot water and got ready to be pampered.

"So, what were you and Edward doing in my kitchen before we left? Do I need to disinfect my kitchen counter now?" Rose said with a smirk in place.

"Holy shit, did you see it too? Please, don't tell me Emmett saw it. He'll give Edward so much crap if he did. "I couldn't help but to have shy smile as I spoke.

"No, Emmett wasn't paying attention. He and Jasper were too into their TV show to even see Edward walk in. I don't even think Edward said anything to them. He made a bee line for you, Bella. It's like he has some kind of Bella-Dar. He just gravitates towards you."

"It's so cute! First time love is so exciting, isn't it, Bells?" Alice chimes in.

Alice and her damn love talk! Let me just enjoy it in private for a bit. I was not ready to scream it from the rooftops just yet. Not until I knew it were two sided.

"Well, Rose, You don't have to disinfect. It was just a fuck hot make out session. He has never acted that way before. It was nice."

"Nice? Bella! Nice? That shit should go down in the books!" Alice could get so animated sometimes.

"Ugh, Alice! Can we change the subject, please? How should I get my hair cut? I was thinking of just getting it trimmed." I knew this would get Alice's attention.

"No, no! I was thinking we should go short. You have had this long, boring mousy brown hair since you were what five? I want short and sexy! Maybe short in the back but longer in the front, angled so it frames your face. And bangs! Oh, Bells, you would look so pretty with bangs!"

Wait, short hair? I had never cut my hair short before. How as that going to look? I had always been down to the middle of my back. Would Edward like it? I must have had a look of terror on my face because Alice quickly put my fears at ease.

"Trust me, Bella. You will look fantastic and Edward will love it. I know these things."

"Yeah, Bella, you know better than to bet against Alice," Rose added.

The rest of our spa day was very relaxing. I've missed hanging out with my ladies. My hair actually came out nice. I was really scared to look, but I didn't mine it. It would take some getting used to it, though. I liked how I could just throw my hair up in a pony tail and be out the door. Now, there was barely any hair to put up in a pony tail! The bangs looked great. The whole hair cut actually did look sexy, even thought, I didn't have an ounce of sexiness in me.

We had lunch at a little outdoor café on the water. It was nice to sit and chat. The girls have me some advice on how to seduce Edward. They said men loved sexy talk. I didn't think I could do that without busting out laughing, or at the very least break out in hives; which I did often anyways. They also gave me pointers on pleasing the opposite sex.

Who knew all the things you could do with your tongue. I felt so naïve, all I kept saying was 'what?', 'you put that where?' and my favorite 'you do that how?' Did men really like that?

We ended our girls' day at the lingerie store. Alice said I should start out simple, with matching bras and panties. I've never had a matching set before, so that was exciting. I usually just wore sports bras. It was really hard to find a good bra but Alice knew what she was talking about and found me the most comfortable bra in the world. It didn't even give me any extra back cleavage. So, naturally, I bought that pair in every color they hand. I changed up the panties, though. I even bought a thong. I didn't know why women would want floss up their ass, but Alice said men liked it. So, I bought one pair.

I swore if Edward didn't like them, they were going in the trash. I guessed I could suffer just to make Edward happy. I also bought boy shorts. Now, that I lost all this weight, they didn't look so weird on me. I still had a tummy but it didn't roll down like it used to, thirty-five pounds ago!

We headed home and I couldn't wait to see Edward. Maybe even continue with our make out session. The burning between my legs had subsided some, nothing a nice warm bath couldn't fix. I still didn't understand why women would put themselves through all that pain. Couldn't I just Nair that shit and be done with it? No hot wax involved! Alice said it was a big fat no to that one.

_Party pooper!_

I tried not to walk into the house with a limp, but it was inevitable. If I would have known what we were doing today, I would've worn sweat pants. Jeans not only chaffed my bikini area, but my thighs were chaffing as well. Oh, the joys of being a fat girl. Wait, no, used to be fat girl. Now, I just belonged to the large group of women whose thighs touched.

Alice and Rose walked in first. According to Alice, she wanted me to make a grand entrance.

Edward and Jasper were on the couch playing Wii. As soon as I walked through the door, Edward automatically turned his head and his jaw dropped. He just sat there saying nothing, starring at me with an opened mouth. I was starting to freak out. Did he not like my new hair? I just wanted to look good for him. Ugh, why wouldn't he say anything?

I started to look back and forth between Edward and Alice, who now sat on Jasper's lap.

_Someone please break the silence…_

Emmett walked in from the kitchen with a piece of pizza hanging out of his mouth and balancing three beers on his arm. I looked over at him just so I could stop looking at Edward, who was still sitting on the couch not saying anything at all. All I wanted to do was jump in the car, go home, and cry.

_Stupid men, stupid make over…_

"Wow, Swan! You are looking hot. I think that short hair suits you. Don't you think, Eddie Boy?" Emmet finally broke the silence. He started wagging his eyebrows up and down, while looking between Edward and I. Edward still didn't say a thing. I just smiled and thanked Emmett quietly, before slipping into the kitchen so no one could see the tears that were about to escape.

I was at the sink washing my hangs trying to give myself a pep talk. I liked my hair, I thought I looked sexy. I've never felt or looked sexy and if Edward didn't like it, well then, he could just kiss my ass. Okay, now I felt a little better.

As I turned around, I saw Edward leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed across his chest and that crooked grin of his in place. Did he have to have that damn grin on his face? It made me melt into a puddle of mush and then I forget why I was annoyed with him.

I just stood there and gave him the best bitch brow I could possibly muster, but failed miserably. There were still no words coming out of his mouth. I was starting to get really pissed off. I was about to say something when he strode over to me, grabbed my face and our lips met.

His kiss was just as urgent as it was this morning. Maybe he did like my hair after all. Inside, I was doing a little happy dance. Oh, please back me up against the counter! Please, please, please! I kept chanting in my head. I couldn't help but moan into his mouth.

His hands ran through my hair and tugged. I bit his lip and he let out a deep growl. Oh, yeah, I definitely liked this side of Edward.

He broke the kiss way too soon for my liking. We were panting like there was no tomorrow.

"I think we need to go back to your place for the night, Isabella," Edward whispered.

Holy shit! Did he just call me by my full name? How hot was that?

I couldn't even form words, like usual. I just gulped and nodded my head yes. He grabbed my hand and purse as he pulled me towards the front door in a hurry.

"Goodnight everyone, we are going home. See you all next Sunday," Edward said in a rush as he walked us out the front door.

I just had a huge smile on my face and waved to everyone as Edward dragged me out the door.

Edward walked me over to my car and opened the door for me. I was about to get in but Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me into him. He caressed my face and looked into my eyes. I just wanted to…hell; I didn't even know what I wanted to do. He was just so perfect.

"I really like your new hair, Bella. Hurry home. I want to make you dinner and continue what we started earlier today," he said, giving me a sexy smile.

"Oh, I will. You don't have to worry about that. You don't have to make dinner, I can make it," I said returning his smile.

"No, Bella. I want today to be about you. I want to worship you tonight, if you'll let me?"

_Wow…how did I end up with this man?_

"Okay." Was all I could come up with, he kissed me again and before things could get too heated, Edward broke away and helped me into the truck.

"I'll see you in a few, love," Edward yelled over his shoulder as he ran to his car.

I was so getting lucky tonight! I was so getting lucky! I couldn't help but smile all the way home. Wait, was I really for this? Ugh, screw it. Edward obviously wanted me, why couldn't I just push away all the insecurities and just be happy. I could do this. I could be with Edward and not freak out over my flab flapping in the wind.

I pulled into the parking lot and Edward was already there, leaning against his car, waiting for me.

I got out and Edward came over to me, grabs my hand and kissed it.

_Swoon. _

We walked past Edward's place and I couldn't help but think about why we never hung out over there. I've been in there but I wondered why he always came over to my place. I decided to think about that later. Now, I'd just concentrate on what's going to happen tonight.

What should I wear? Man, why didn't I get some lingerie when we were out? Maybe I could wear one of my new sets of underwear. Nah, I'd just be myself tonight. I wondered if he wanted to spend the night.

We finally reached my door and I fumbled putting my key in, all of a sudden I was so nervous. What if I made a total fool out of myself, again?

Edward took my keys from me and opened the door without any problems.

_How could he be so calm?_

"Relax Bella, what has gotten you so jumpy?" Edward asked with concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" I said a little faster than usual.

"Um…because you're breaking out in hives, babe," he said as he fingered my collarbone.

Damn! Why did my body have to betray me like this?

"Oh, I don't know why I break out in hives. It happens on occasion, though. They don't bother me or anything." That was all I could up come with.

"Okay, how about I draw you a bath and then I'll get started on dinner why you relax." I loved this man.

"That sounds nice, thank you." Edward left me to go into the bathroom. I went into my room to find something to change into. I was feeling a little brave so I grabbed my big fluffy purple robe and nothing else.

_Here goes nothing…_

I walked in the bathroom and the tub was almost over filling with bubbles and the scent of strawberries filled the room.

"So, you're all set. Just sit in there and relax. I'll let you know when dinner is done." Edward gave me a quick kiss and exited the bathroom.

I quickly changed and sank into the tub. Oh, heaven. I think I liked this better than the massage I had today. I just sat back and enjoyed my alone time. I didn't think too much of what tonight's events might lead to. I must have been in there for half an hour or so. I looked down at my fingers and realized they were starting to prune. As I was getting out there was a soft knock on the door.

"Bella, dinner is ready whenever you are."

"Okay, thanks. I'll be out in a minute."

Maybe I should've grabbed some shorts and a t-shirt. I didn't think I should just wear a robe and nothing else. Ah hell! Just do it, Bella. I toweled myself dry and slipped into my nice fluffy robe. I stepped out of the bathroom and I could hear the soft music playing in the background. The lights were dimmed and I could see candles lit the living room.

Wow, he really went all out.

I stepped into the living room and there was Edward at the table, lighting two more candles. The room was full of candles; every empty surface had a candle lit. Some tall, some short. It was nice and warm in here. The smell of dinner wafted through the room. Edward had set the table with my grandma's fine china and dinner was spread out.

I walked closer to the table and cleared my throat. Edward was too busy making everything line up to notice I had entered the room.

"Edward, this is just perfect. Thank you so much." No one had ever done this for me. I really didn't' think I would ever have anyone that wanted to do this for me.

"Anything for you, my Bella," Edward said as he walked over to me and guided me to my seat. He pulled it out for me and when I sat he pushed it in. What a gentleman.

I noticed he had made my favorite pasta dish. Pasta Carbonara, with some garlic bread and a nice tossed salad. He sat down next to me and opened a bottle of Riesling.

"I know this is your favorite," he said as he poured wine into my glass.

I was speechless. I couldn't have imagined a better night than this. We didn't talk much during dinner, just held hands and exchanged shy glances towards each other. We were just finishing up as Marvin Gaye's 'Let's Get It On' came over the speakers.

I couldn't help but giggle. How cliché was that!

Edward gave me a quick glance and then lowered his head, but not fast enough for me not to see his cheeks had grown red.

"Let's get it on, Edward?"

"Yeah, I kind of made a play list. I couldn't help but put this on there. What's so funny?"

I couldn't help it but my giggle turned into a full blown laugh. Wait, he made a play list? For us or in general?

"Wait, you made a play list? A play list for what? I asked.

"I made it for us, well for you. Um, not for you, but songs that I want to um…makelovetoyouto," he said that last part way too fast.

So, he thought about us way more than I thought he did. Wow, I was totally in love with this man right now.

I didn't say anything and I guessed he took that as a bad sign so he quickly got up and picked up our dishes and ran to the kitchen. Damn, I didn't mean to embarrass him.

If I was computer and IPod savvy, I was sure I would've made an Edward play list as well.

When he finally came back into the living room, he looked a little dejected and I went over to him immediately. I couldn't screw this up, I wanted this, and I wanted him. I didn't want to be insecure anymore; I didn't want to make him insecure.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him the best kiss I could. I tried to convey my feelings into the kiss, my thanks and my love. I didn't know if I was doing it right but I did try my hardest. I pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you, Edward. Tonight has just been perfect. I can't even explain to you how much you mean to me and how you treat me. No one has ever treated me the way you do. So, thank you. And the play list is great. If I was IPod savvy, I would've had an Edward play list, just so ya know." I smirked up at him.

"You don't have to thank me, Bella. I care for you a lot. I want to treat you like the queen you are. I want to make you feel special and maybe Marvin Gaye was a little too much." He chuckled.

"So, you want to make love to me?" I teased.

"Of course I do. I want to worship you and make you feel wonderful. I would like to do that for the rest of my life."

_Oh lord…_

I couldn't speak, so I just pulled his face to mine and conveyed all I could again into that kiss. Things were getting heated and Edward's hands were roaming to the top of my robe pulling it off my shoulders. Edward broke the kiss and started trailing wet kisses down my neck to my shoulders and then across my collarbone.

Oh shit, this was really happening. Breathe, Bella, just breathe. You could do this. You love him, he cares for you. You wanted this, don't freak out. I let go and just let myself feel.

He started to suck on the hollow base of my throat and I couldn't help but let out a loud moan. My hands were in his hair and I was trying to pull his lips back to my mouth.

"Relax, Bella. Let me worship you, please," Edward whispered across my neck.

_Mmm…Okay…._

Edward moved to the other side of my neck and I felt his hands going for the tie of my robe. I had double knotted it so he was having a difficult time getting it undone.

_Stupid Bella!_

He finally got the first knot undone and his lips found mind again.

"Are you ready for this, Bella? I don't want to do anything you aren't comfortable doing."

"Yes, I'm ready, Edward. I want you, please," I whimpered.

His hands moved back down to the tie of my robe and I was mentally preparing myself for him to see me naked when my cell phone went off rather loudly. It wasn't an assigned ringtone so it wasn't important. Edward's hands stilled and I urged him to continue.

His hands went down again and my phone went off again.

_What. The. Fuck!_

"Maybe you should get that?" Edward said as he kissed my neck.

"No, no just ignore it," I said just as the damn thing went off again for the third time. Really, was the universe out to get me?

I huffed and Edward stopped what he was doing and stepped away. I felt cold without his body against mine. I didn't like it one bit. He gave me an apologetic smile and I stomped over to my stupid phone, which wouldn't stop ringing.

"Hello," I said curtly.

"What! Are you serious? Jessica, why couldn't you give me notice? No, you can't get a reference!" With that last statement I snapped the phone shut. How dare her! Why did I hire her to begin with? She ruined my night with Edward! Ruined! I couldn't help the tears that cascaded down my cheeks. Edward quickly rushed to my side and grabbed me.

"What's wrong, Bella? Who was that? Is everything okay?" He was starting to panic.

"That was Jessica, my stupid overnight baker! She was just calling me to inform me that she is quitting and won't be coming in tonight!" I couldn't help it but a sob came out. I'm not crying because she's leaving, I'm crying because she ruined my night with Edward.

Laurent, my other baker, was out of town and now I had no one to call to go in and bake. So, that person would have to be me. Fuck my life. Fuck my fucking life! I wanted to wring that little bitch's neck!

"Well, can't you call someone else to come in?"

"No! My other reliable baker is on vacation. No one else is trained to do it. I have to go in so I can get the entire product for tomorrow ready. I can't believe this. Edward, I am so sorry I ruined our night together," I cried out.

I could see the disappointment in Edward's eyes. I couldn't believe this. Why did the world always work against me?

"It's okay, Bella; I know how work can be. We can continue this tomorrow." He was wiping away my tears as he spoke.

That just made me cry harder because I knew we couldn't. Laurent wouldn't be back until next week and I'd have to put an ad out for a new baker. Until then I was stuck doing it.

"We can't," I said dejectedly.

"Why now?"

"Because, Laurent won't be back until next week and I have to find a new baker and until I do, I have to go in there and do it. It's my responsibility."

"That's okay, baby. I would wait forever for you. Come on you better get ready."

Edward was too good to me. Jessica just ruined our first time together, stupid unreliable girl! Ugh, I just wanted to scream! I ran into my closet and slammed the door shut. I hastily threw on some jeans and an old t-shirt. There was no sense in dressing in anything nice since I was going to get flour all over everything.

I walked out and Edward was lying on my bed. That was a site to behold. I wish I could've woken up to that in the morning.

"I'm just going to clean up and then I'll head home."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. Just leave all the dishes and stuff and I can clean up tomorrow."

"Hell no, you are going to be exhausted tomorrow. I got it, it's ok. I can stop by tomorrow on my way to work and see you. Then tomorrow night I'll make us some dinner before you have to go in. Don't be upset, my love. We have all the time in the world." He smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes, like it usually did.

"I love you." I sighed.

Looking over at Edward he had a surprised look on his face. Oh my lord, did I just said that out loud? I didn't mean to say that out loud. Oh god. My face was burning so I quickly grab my purse and ran out before he could've said anything.

I was such a coward. I just ruined our perfect evening, I just confessed my love to him on accident and I couldn't even face up to it. I just ran away. Hi my name is Bella Swan and I am a spastic lunatic!

**did ya really think things would work out perfectly for this bella? i think not! dont worry they will get it on soon enough and maybe it will be to marvin we'll see. stay tuned folks! leave me some lovin or hatin which ever you prefer!**


	20. Ch 20 Make up sex

**HI all! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, i'm glad everyone is enjoying this story! **

**Thank you to my Beta Neliz, this will be the last beta'd chapter so please dont get too aggravated with me with the unbeta'd future chapters :).**

**And now for chapter 20...oh yeah i dont own twilight...sucks for me. **

Edward had finally gotten the knot on my robe untied and slowly pushed it off my shoulders. At last, I was fully exposed to Edward. I had let go of all my inhibitions and started to slowly undress him. I felt his lips kiss up and down my neck, while his hands rubbed smooth circles on my hips.

"Let me make love to you, Bella," Edward whispered.

"Mmm," I moaned, unable to say anything else. Before I knew it, Edward had lifted me up bridal style and carried me to the bedroom.

_BUZZZZZZZZZZZ…._

Fucking oven, fucking Jessica, and fuck you bread! I could've been home living that damn fantasy. Instead, I was at the coffee shop, covered in flour, _baking_. I was still bitter. Couldn't you tell?

I couldn't get over Jessica. How could you just up and quit a job, without even caring about the consequences? I was lucky Edward understood the situation. I was sure he went home with a major case of blue balls. I'd have to find a way to make this up to him. He had treated me so well, almost like a queen. I had never been treated that way before. Not even my own parents. They had never made me feel special. Well…not in a sexual kind of way.

The smell of burning bread pulled me out of my inner monologue. Heaven forbid the customers didn't get their damn rolls or pastries to go with their coffee. I wondered if my emotions would come through the pastries, sort of like in that movie with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Maybe if I were to beat the dough into submission, everyone that ate it would become a nasty fucker. I started to believe the lack of sleep was messing with my brain.

Instead of wallowing in the mess that was my life, I just cranked up Linkin' Park's "Hybrid Theory". Yep, I was definitely old schooling it tonight. Good angst music should keep me going.

Before I knew it, my entire production was done and set on cooling racks, just as my morning baristas walked through the door. Oh shit, another thing to get pissy about. I had no opening supervisor. In other words…_I_ was the morning supervisor, just like every day I opened. Just freaking great! Maybe I could call my mid-shift supervisor and have them come in early for me.

_Oh joy…._

"Good morning, Bella. Wait…Bella, what are you doing in jeans and a t-shirt?" Angela asked me a bit confused.

"Oh yeah, well…Jessica called and quit last night. So, I'm your friendly neighborhood baker this week, until I can find a replacement." Then gave her the best smile I could muster.

"Man, Bella, that really sucks. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you out?"

"Not that I can think of right now, but thank you, Angela. I'll remember that when I do need some help. Listen, I'm going to hang out in the office for a bit and get the paperwork done. I have to see if I can get my mid manager in. Can you handle things up here for me? Make all the executive decisions, 'kay?"

She nodded as I made my way towards my office, with my twentieth coffee of the night, wait…morning. Ah, hell! I had lost track of time, I've been up for twenty-four hours so far.

I was so deep in the paperwork, that I didn't notice the insistent knocking on the office door.

_What the hell! _

I opened the door abruptly and the person, who stood behind it, took me by surprise. It was Edward, dressed up in khakis and a blue button down shirt, smiling at me with his lopsided grin.

Oh my _God_! I had completely forgotten about the L-word slip last night and the running like a bat outta hell. Maybe if I didn't mention or hint it to him, then he won't either?

"Good morning, My Bella." Again with that lopsided grin that could make a girl melt. I wondered how many pants he got into when he was a teenager. I'm willing to be a ton.

"Good morning." I smiled back and noticed one arm was behind his back, while I gave him a hug, which caused him to give me a one armed hug.

"So, I wanted to bring you some coffee but then, I thought that really wouldn't work. Then, I thought I would bring you some breakfast, but I figured you could eat here, so…here…I…just here." Edward was doing the rubbing of the neck thing he did when he was nervous as he shoved a mixed bouquet of flowers in my hand. Love it, ahh shit! I forgot about the L-word again!

"Wow, thank you, Edward. They're beautiful." I took them and brought them up to my nose. I was too busy sniffing the flowers that I didn't notice Edward was shifting nervously in front of me in the tiny office.

"I love you, too, you know. You left too early last night for me to say anything back to you."

_Oh, lord…_

This was the first time any man has ever said 'I love you' to me. I was covered in flour and had been up for more than twenty-four hours straight, maybe I was delusional.

I looked up at Edward, confused.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Now come here," he chuckled and grabbed my waist, bringing me to him. I would never tire of his lips on mine. Every time we kissed, it was like our first time, over and over again. I still got butterflies and all tingly inside. This love thing was pretty cool.

"Well, now that we professed our love for each other and not in the way I had planned to, by the way. There is someone I want you to meet."

_Wait…what? Meet, who does he want me to meet?_

"Who do you want me to meet?" I asked dumbly.

"Well, my father and I rode into work together today and I wanted to stop by here. He noticed the flowers and well, he knew something was up with me. I don't know, he put it, _'Edward, I see a change in you. A good change, this wouldn't have anything to do with a new lady in your life would it?', _so yeah, I kinda told him all about you. Well, not like I didn't want you to meet my parents, because I do, but I've liked it just being you and me all the time, except for Sundays. I wanted to keep you all to myself. I knew once my mom got her claws in you, it would be brunch every Saturday, mixed with some shopping and spa treatments. Because…well, I know she'll love you. She never could stand Tanya and she's been saying to me lately, _'Edward, you're in love. I want to meet this special woman that has you on cloud nine every time I see you.'_" Ugh, I loved how he got this word vomit whenever he was nervous.

"I look like crap, Edward. Look at me, ratty jeans and flour everywhere. I don't even have my contacts in. I don't want him to think I'm some sort of bum." I wanted to freak out but I really couldn't. He wanted me to meet his father and I didn't even have time to mentally prepare myself. Oh, well. I'll live. Edward said he loved me and honestly, that was all that really mattered.

"You look beautiful. If I could, I would take you right here in this little office," he said with that smirk in place, just before his lips ascended on mine and his hands groped my ass kind of rough, but I like it. As much as I would've liked to continue this, I needed to meet his dad and then get home to sleep.

"Okay, let's go. I want to meet your dad." With that I took his hand and left the office.

I really did look like a bum. My jeans had holes in the knees; my faded black t-shirt had flour all over it. My hair, well it was too short to put up, but I did manage to get a few strands back in a clip. My glasses were perched on my nose and I was sure I had flour on my face, but Edward didn't say anything.

We walked out and I saw a blonde man standing at the counter talking to Angela. He was freaking beautiful. What was up with the men in this damn family? He had the same lick worthy jaw that Edward had. I did a quick body scan. Yes, I know gross right? I was checking out my man's dad, but if you saw him, you would too. Yep, Edward definitely got his nice ass from his daddy. Okay, now I had to stop.

Edward cleared his throat and I saw Angela smiling brightly, twirling her hair around her finger. These two beautiful men entranced her as well. I was glad I wasn't the only one.

"Dad, I would like for you to meet my Bella, I mean Bella. Bella, this is my dad, Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

Should I curtsy now?

Instead, Dr. Cullen held his hand out for me. I took his hand in mine and he clasps his other hand around mine.

"Oh, Bella, it is so nice to meet you! You have made my son so happy."

"Dad," Edward growled low enough so that I wouldn't have heard him but I did. I couldn't help but giggle.

"It's very nice to meet you, Dr. Cullen." Well this wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Okay, well it's nice to meet you, Carlisle. Can I get you two some coffee and something to eat?"

"Maybe, just some coffee, we have to get to the office. We have a full load today. Weather's getting cold, so a lot of people are coming down with colds. How about this Saturday, you two come over for dinner. I know Esme would just love to meet you." His eyes lit up when he said Esme's name. I wondered if my eyes did that when I said Edward's name or even when I just thought about him.

I smiled and looked up at Edward to see what he thought about it.

"We didn't have anything planned, so yeah, why not," Edward answered for me and I just nodded and smiled back.

"Then it's set. Saturday, dinner at our place, I can't wait."

"Sounds good to me, how about I get those coffees going for you."

Edward followed me around the counter.

"Are you okay to drive home, Bella? I can take you home and then come back to the office. I'm sure my dad can handle the first few patients."

"No way, Edward. That would be two hours of your day driving. I'll be fine. I've had like fifty billion cups of coffee to keep me awake until next Tuesday."

"Will you at least promise to call me when you get home? If you need anything just let know." His eyes were pleading with me.

"Cross my heart and hope to die. Oh wait; maybe I shouldn't have said that. Hmm…yes, I will call you when I get home. Thank you for the flowers by the way. I'm not used to getting them, so it's kind of really made my day." I smiled. I just couldn't seem to be able to keep the smile in, wherever this man was in my presence.

"Anything for you, dinner's at my place tonight. I'm making it for you, so all I want you to do is relax on the couch."

"No arguments here." I stepped up on my tippy toes to give him a quick kiss.

"I love you, Bella," Edward said between kisses.

"I love you, too, Edward," I said between kisses. I was sure we were a site to see. Here I was covered in flour looking like a crazy person, kissing this beautiful man, while holding two cups of scalding coffee in my hands.

All of the sudden a throat cleared from somewhere behind us. We broke apart and I saw Edward's dad smiling at the two of us.

"Here, I'll see you tonight." I said as I shoved the coffees toward Edward.

I was on too much of a high to actually go to sleep when I got home. Edward loved me, too. He said 'I love you, Bella' quite a few times actually. I met his dad. I was meeting his mom on Saturday. We weren't moving too fast, were we?

I remembered to call Edward when I got home and he ended the conversation with 'I love you'. Okay, so I hated those stories where the couples were constantly saying, I love you, it was like holy crap, and we all know you're in love, stop saying it so damn much. But I totally got it now!

I finally fell asleep. When I work up, it was time for Edward to come home. The sleeping during the day was really the pits. I was completely thrown off my kilter. Edward called shortly after I got out of the shower to tell me he's home and to head over anytime. I couldn't wait to see him. If I could spend every minute of every day with that man, I would!

I practically ran to his apartment. Mindful of the column I smacked into the first time I met him. Didn't want a repeat of that now, do we? Maybe I'll get a little something, something before work today.

He had left the door open for me, how sweet. I walked in. I've been here before, but this place barely looked live in. Everything was too matchy, matchy. Maybe that was why we spent all our time over at my place. Nothing over at my place matched. Nothing was brand new. I liked it better that way, it gave it character.

Edward was at the sink, washing something green. I couldn't help but ogle at his assets. Everything about him was perfect. I wish I could have woken up to him this afternoon than my body pillow that I have named Edward.

I walked up behind him, wrapped my warms around his waist, and inhaled his scent. It was hard to explain, it was a mixture of pine with a lot of Edward. It smelled like home.

He turned around and now I snuggled into his chest, his nicely sculpted chest.

"I missed you today," I sighed.

"I missed you, as well." I could feel his hands moving down to cup my butt. I was starting to think he was a butt man. I would have to ask him about that later.

"Bella, my love, your ass is vibrating."

Say what? Oh, yeah, my phone.

"It's my phone. Hold that thought." I managed to get my phone out and keep Edward's hands where they were.

"Hello. Oh, hey Jacob. Oh, shit. I completely forgot! I know it's not like me. Uh huh, well, you see my baker quit and I had to work overnight. I was up for twenty-four hours straight, so I came home. The gym wasn't the first thing on my mind last night or this morning."

No, what _was_ on my mind was finally getting laid.

"I got home around ten, then slept until three or four…no, I don't go in until ten at night. Oh, okay. Really, you wouldn't mind doing that? Yeah, no that would be perfect. Thank you, Jacob! I owe you!"

"So, Jacob makes personal phone calls now?

Was that jealously I heard in Edward's voice?

"Yeah, well, I didn't show up for my training session today. So, I'm going to go over to La Push when I wake up and work out with him on the beach."

"What? Shouldn't you be doing that in the gym and not where he lives?" Oh, now he sounded kind of mad.

"Well, I am this only appointment from three to four and then he has a break until six. So, I can't go without working out this week and I know if it's left up to me, I won't do it. He is a good motivator, Edward. Plus, he loves his job. He knows I'm serious about this and he's helping me out." Now, I was getting a little aggravated. Edward knew about my whole weight loss plan. He knew I was dedicated and serious about this.

"Well, I just don't see why you have to go to the beach with him."

"Where else am I going to do it, Edward? I can't go before work, he isn't working and after I leave work, I will be too tired to do anything. I thought you were supportive of this weight loss venture I'm doing!" I kind of snapped at him.

"I am. You know that, Bella. I just don't feel comfortable with you being by yourself with him alone, on a beach."

"That's stupid, Edward."

"I'm sorry. I just don't get a good vibe from him."

"What do you mean? You haven't even met him before!"

"No, but you didn't see the smart-ass smirk he gave me when you went on a date with him that one time!" Now, both our voices were getting elevated.

I separated myself from him and crossed my arms defensively across my chest. This was our first fight. We haven't even had sex yet and we were already fighting. I didn't want our first time having sex to be make-up sex! We had just professed our love, wasn't everything supposed to be all sunshine, rainbows, and shit?

"It wasn't a date and you know that! I don't know why you're acting like this. He's my trainer and that's it. How many times have I told you about him, his girlfriend, and all the gossiping he does with me during our sessions? Have I mentioned that he knows about you? I'm sure he knew I loved you before I freaking did!" I shouted while throwing my arms up in the air.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I don't want you to get upset. I just don't trust him."

"Well, what do you suppose I do?"

"Can I come with you to your beach sessions?" he asked while looking down at the floor.

"You have got to be kidding me. You have to trust me, Edward! How are we going to work if you're acting this way?"

"You're right and I do trust you. I'm sorry for acting this way. I've never thought of myself as a jealous person, but I guess I am when it comes to you. Please forgive me. I won't come to your sessions unless you want me there and ask me yourself." Edward made his way over to me and started kissing my neck. Ah, when he does that, every thought goes flying away.

I couldn't help but smile and giggle.

"So, was that our first fight?"

"I wouldn't say fight, maybe just a heated argument."

_Um, yeah fight…_

"So, will there be some make-up sex to make up for this heated argument?"

"Oh, Isabella, do you really want our first time to be after an argument?"

"Well, I would just like there to be a first time." I was full on pouting now.

"There will be, my love. Why do we need to rush? You have a hectic week and when we do finally make love, I want to wake up to you the next morning. Actually, I wouldn't mind waking up to you for the rest of my life."

Fuck, he just had to go and say shit like that. It just makes me love him even more.

"I like that idea. I better get a new baker by next week!"

"Now, let me finish dinner. Go and make yourself comfy on the couch."

I could get used to his pampering.

Our evening was nice, he made something simple and we just ate in silence. We started to cuddle on the couch before I had to leave for work. I had an hour. I was so comfortable, I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to stay like that all night long.

"So, last night when I was cleaning up your kitchen, I noticed there was a notebook on the counter," Edward said as he rubbed circles on my back.

Oh shit! That was where I wrote my short stories in.

"So, I was just going to write you a quick notice, but noticed there was no paper. I wasn't snooping, Bella. I swear."

I couldn't even look at him. No one had ever seen my writing. Hell, no one even knew I wrote, except when I let it slip to him.

"Did you read anything?" I asked still not looking up at him.

"Not really…Okay, maybe I read a story." I pulled away from him.

"Bella, it was great. You're a wonderful storyteller, and I was wondering if you would let me read more?"

I wasn't expecting that to come out of his mouth.

"Really, you liked what I wrote? I just do that for fun. No one has ever read what I've written before."

"It was great, I couldn't put it down. It was comical, but kept me on the edge of my seat. I was upset when it was over, I wanted to read more."

"You're just saying that because you're my boyfriend."

"No, I'm not, Bella. If I didn't like it, I wouldn't have said anything at all." I guess he had a point there.

"Hmm…I'll think about it." And with that I snuggled back onto Edward's chest. Maybe if he liked it, then others would as well. I'll put those thoughts on the backburner for now. Now, I have to leave to go bake for the wonderful patrons of Port Angeles.

**ok so not my fave chapter, but i had to get Bella to meet the parents sometime soon and the whole story thing will come to a point in the end. soooooo. i hope you all enjoyed and have a fabulous weekend! leave me some luvin or hatin which ever you prefer. peace out. **

**p.s. sexin will happen real soon i pinky swear! **


	21. I suck at lifeI'm sorry

Hello All!

Love all of you, I was hoping to get the next chapter out this week but let me tell ya. It ain't gonna happen. I know I suck, I know this. I really, really do. So get this I decided to go back to school after….oh 7 years….so with that and work full time, mommy full time….my fiancés family coming to town, which I stupidly gave up my bedroom to them…..I have no time to write. Instead I will do a shit load of math homework, cleaning till the wee hours of the night all week and serving annoying people at work. When all I really want to do is be on here reading fabulous stories and writing mine. So I promise, the next chapter that is to come out will be a long one and some good major things will happen. One will be funny, well I think its funny. I hope you all find it funny! So I hope everyone has a wonderful week and please don't hate me for failing at life. Until next time!

~Z


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